Hannah's Pov
Time: 1:47 AM
Location: Brooklyn Heights, NYC.
Date: September 16th
"C'mon pick the call already," I exhaled impatiently, tapping my fingers rhythmically on the pile of papers that I had just finished working on.
No sooner did I hear the rowdy background noise, an evidence that the call had finally connected. As if knowing I was planning on feigning anger, he began with an apology.
"I'm sorry honey, I planned on calling as soon as I was done with my bath," came Nathan's reply.
And for the love of Christ, I had to shake my head furiously to do away with the visual image that made its way into my head.
A part of me wanted to let out some steam, tell him how tired I was, how badly I missed him even though we had spoken about 7 hours back. But his voice melted me, just as it always did. My mouth twisted into a sly smile. "So, bathing is more important than calling me?"
He chuckled, the familiar rumble of his laughter pulling a smile out from my tired face. "You know I could never keep you waiting on purpose."
Of course I knew that, but I didn't want him off the hook… not so easily.
"Yeah, yeah. Took you long enough," I said, still feigning irritation. But even as I said the words, warmth filled my heart.
Nathan chuckled on the other end of the call, adopting a teasing tone. "You know how it is. A man's gotta keep himself presentable for his lady."
At this, a laugh escaped me. "Oh really? Well if you say so."
A comfortable silence permeated for a few seconds while I listened to the shuffling sounds, ones I believed to be him preparing for the day's work.
"How was work?" He asked.
I sighed, leaning back into my chair, grabbing my pen and placing it across the pile. "Work's... well, it's work. You know how it goes."
A 10 seconds silence settled between us for a moment, until he spoke again, his voice softer this time. "I miss you, Hannah."
The words were suspended in the air, leaving me with an ache in my bones. I wanted to say it back, to tell him I felt the same way. But there was a part of me that didn't want to concede so easily.
"I know you do," I replied, clicking my tongue as another visual image formed in my head. "Anyway, I have some news."
I could almost feel the way his attention sharpened. "What news?" he fired in quick succession.
"I - I got granted three months off, Nathan. It got approved so I'll be in Nigeria soon."
The next few seconds came with a sorta pressure that I could almost taste. I knew he'd been waiting for this, for me to come back, but I didn't want to make the move just yet. I needed some more time.
"That's amazing!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Hannah, that's amazing. I've been waiting for this for so long. Take the time, and come home already."
Adjusting a bit in my chair, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to find my words. I couldn't miss the eager tone in his voice, but I hesitated. Even though I missed him, I wanted to be firm. I couldn't go down that road again, speeding things for the sake of feelings. I wanted this time to feel right, not forced.
"I know," I began, biting my lower lip. "But I was thinking... maybe I should come home during the festive period..." I trailed off, not sure if he would understand.
There was a long pause on the other end. I knew all the wires in his brain were working on how to convince me. Nathan had always been patient, understanding, but I could pick the strain in his voice when he responded.
"Hannah, you've been gone for 12 years. You deserve to be here now. Don't make me wait any longer… please." The plea in his words tugged at my heart.
No!
"I need this time for myself. To wrap things up here. You understand, right?" I picked my words carefully, not wanting to sound like I was shutting him out.
He let out a loud sigh, and then, "I love you, Hannah."
My heart skipped many beats. My throat constricted, different emotions swirled in me. I loved him too, desperately. But my past relationships had left scars and also made the words hard to say. So I promised myself I wasn't going to say it without fully grasping the meaning. I didn't want to rush into something that might not last.
I swallowed, then forced out a soft response. "I - "
But the words didn't form.
"Hannah, don't be afraid to say it. You don't have to rush, but don't hold back either," he said gently.
I closed my eyes, wishing I could bridge the distance between us with just a touch. "I know," I whispered. "I do. But… I need to get things right for myself before I can say it like I mean it."
There was a long pause, and then I heard him exhale, like he was letting go of a breath he'd been holding for too long. "I understand. Take your time. I'll be here."
The call ended shortly after that, and I stared at the screen absentmindedly.
"I love you too," I whispered to myself, throwing my head back.