Sue and Perry bought this farm when Lars was four years old, now he’s almost forty. They know all the surrounding farmers and their families. They are members of the co-op, they sometimes barter for one thing or another, they sometimes rent out grazing properties or spaces in the coolie house to other farm people.
Sue is a member of the W.O.F. (wives of farmers) Circle No.3, and the meetings rotate to all their homes. The women have holiday parties, bake offs, bake sales, and set up fruit stands in the summer. They give baskets to needy families and shit.
The men trust each other. They do things like attending conventions and seminars. If one of them purchases some new piece of farm machinery, they share it. If one needs help, they all pitch in. They even sponsor other farmers in other towns. The community is together.
This is home, you know?
Sue knows the woman who was witness to the little boy screaming and causing a stampede. She is just a few years younger than Lars and just like Lars, she chooses to stay close to home. She lives with her dad on their farm and loves it. Sue then wondered if she knew Lars, but she put the thought aside for later.
For now, she has a feeling that it was Zander’s antics because none of the families have children. The most recent little person for miles around is baby AJ.
She was on her head and picked up the phone to call Zander, but she decided against that. She went to her car and was pulling out of the driveway, but pulled back in. Her final decision was to calm down and to call Deidre. She would be sure before she confronted Zander again.
The next day around mid-morning, she called Deidre and asked her to come down. She said, “I just made my first chocolate pound cake and I need a tester.”
Deidre was in their barn annex apartment doing laundry and reading her Dr. Spock book; ‘The Baby’s First Year’. Baby AJ was playing in his playpen and talking to his toys. Deidre told Sue they would be down after his nap later in the day.
At around two that afternoon, Deidre came down dressed in one of Albert’s plaid work shirts over a pair of blue jeans. She wore blue pumps. She had dressed the baby in a blue button up romper with a white T shirt underneath. He wore white ‘Jumping Jacks’ baby shoes to match.
Deidre put the baby in the highchair that Sue kept just for him and he was playing with the rolling animals and balls attached to the chair. She said to Sue in a singsong voice, “Sue, I have something for you from Albert” and she gave her a flat pink box. Sue smiled and opened it. First there was fancy tissue paper like the kind that comes in a box of ladies’ stockings or fancy stationery. She got a whiff of gardenia body powder.
The gift was a new white linen tablecloth with colorful fancy fringe around the bottom along with four matching linen napkins. Albert had designed it and Carson knew a woman who embroidered a miniature circular birdcage on one corner. There was a cute little yellow Finch, a very colorful Parakeet, and a comical DoDo bird on each of the other corners.
Each napkin had one distinct bird, and one had a birdcage and they all had just a tiny bit of fringe. It was a beautiful set, and Sue touched it and almost cried. It was from her baby. Deidre told her the birds represented the different parts of the Bird Cage2.
But then she said, “Sue, did you know the club burned down? Albert had to axe a guy because he was always high at work and he was always causing problems. One early morning this dude broke in and trashed the inside of the place, and he set it on fire. The building burned to the ground.”
Sue put her hand to her heart and said, “Oh no, that’s tragic. Is Albert all right?
“Yeah, he’s just fine. He’s disappointed but you know Albert. He told me he sent the guy to Seymour for a second chance in his life but well, he’s gone. The guy went there with a bad attitude, so Seymour cooked and ate him; he buried the bones and swept the ground. He’s gone”
They were both sitting at the table with coffee and cake. Deidre smiled with the first bite and said,” Ummmm, this brings up memories.” Sue’s first bite caused a smile too because she surprised herself. The cake was from scratch and it was very good.
After a few seconds, Sue said, “Well, that’s just too bad about the club. She was glad, however, that the brothers had worked it out together. She got up and put apple juice in a sippy cup for baby AJ.
But Deidre had more. “He told me a homeless woman was living in the basement of the place when he first got there. Her name was Rain. They became close and she stole the money that Carson gave him. Thousands of dollars, thousands!”
Deidre went on, “She was the one working on Lar’s farm and she’s in a mental home right now.” Sue sipped her coffee and ate her cake with no response, no facial expression, no nothing. She was thinking, ‘Zander did it again.’
She asked Deidre point blank, “When you went to see Albert, where did you leave the baby, or did you take him with you and why didn’t you let AJ stay with me?”
Deidre was quiet for just a second and she could see Sue was upset about something. She said, “Well, I just thought it would be fun for a change for him to be with his uncle Lars.
It was overnight and I know sometimes you and Perry might want to ‘git it on’, and she put her head down and laughed just a little. She then said, “Well, I just thought it would be good. Besides, Lars needs some company.”
Sue was looking at the baby, and she had a vision of him walking on that road, stabbing those people with a bloody fork and with Zander controlling him. She shivered.
But she liked Deidre and respected her as a mother. She also thought to herself, if only AJ could talk, because she was certain Zander had made him walk that evening. Almost certain.
She finally asked if baby AJ was all right when she picked him up? Deidre said, “Yes, just fine.” He did have a scratch on his hand, and he was babbling much more than normal. And he cries now if I try putting his walking shoes on. Sue thought, oh, if only he could talk!
She told Deidre, “People saw a little boy walking down the road. I was told he caused a stampede and a few people got choked out.
Deidre said, “Oh, no, that’s awful. Do they know who the little one belongs to?” It was just out of the question to think it had been her little one.
Sue said, “No, nobody knows anything.” She left it at that and picked up her grandson. He started babbling and she got one of his teething rings from the freezer. They all went out onto the front porch.
Sue, still holding AJ, sat in a rocker. She gave him the teething ring, and he snuggled in. She took his Jumping Jacks shoes off but left his socks on and gently massaged both his feet. He snuggled in a little more because he was so content with his Sue. Deidre sat next to her, and they both rocked quietly for just a few minutes. Baby AJ went to sleep.
Sue said, “Deidre, tell me about the Police chief.
Deidre said, “The chief’s real name was August Ferdinand Smith IV, but everybody called him “Ferd.” His grandfather named him following tradition.
“He told me when he was a kid, he and his friends would see who could jerk off the fastest and shoot a wad. He was always the winner, and he always won the coins in a green box. They all had to put something in the box every time they played that game.”
Sue said, “He probably had a nice rod, huh, after all that yanking” Deidre nodded in agreement and they both laughed.
Deidre continued and said, “He told me he always wanted to be a policeman. She stopped talking and looked Sue straight on, eye to eye and said very seriously, “Did Albert choke out his college roommate?”
“Yes, he did but Albert felt he had to do it.”
Deidre said, almost whispering, “Chieffie told me he knew about it and he was trying to find proof. He told me he was going to have him locked up for that reason and also because he wouldn’t leave me alone. She said he thought baby AJ was his and I kept telling him he wasn’t. But regardless, I was happy to see him whenever I saw him. He loved me Sue, he loved me since I was sixteen.
“When I was messing around with Albert and got pregnant, Chief gave me ten thousand dollars to move away from the town. He bought furniture and everything. I told him I was with Albert, I told him, but he still wanted to be with me.
At the end, he came to my place and told me he was looking for Albert to lock him up. I told Albert and he came here first, remember? I came later. That was the reason.”
Sue thought but didn’t say out loud that she was sorry he was dead, but he would have been dead anyway if he had hurt one of her sons.
Deidre went on, “He was about to retire after serving 50 years.” She said, “Aww, I’m really going to miss being with him.”
She went on, “His wife’s’ name is Peony Lyra Jackson, and they call her “Pony.” She owned a franchise in Tupperware, and she hosted parties and attended workshops. She went to school for nursing and he paid for it, but she never worked in the medical field. He told me she was a fabulous seamstress, and she would see something in a magazine, a catalog, cut out the pattern and she would wear it.
He told me that’s what attracted him to her, she was stylish and he liked the way she looked at him. He said she was wearing wrap dresses and coats with fur collars before they were in style. All the women in her family made clothes and she was a natural with it. Coats, suits, dresses, hats, baby clothes. Anything!
Deidre said, “And Sue, she has an elbow fetish.” “He told me that she told him when she was a baby, she was never any trouble if she could play with her elbow. Children usually suck a thumb or finger, but she would fondle either her own or the elbow of whoever was close to her: Mama, daddy, brother, dog, chicken...whatever or whoever and she was content.
He told me he loved how they used to fuck and she would hold his elbow and just squirt all over his rod. And if I tasted her sweet spot, it was so sweet as long as she had my elbow. But she quit doing that or anything else and became a member of society with those big titty women.
He told me, “She and Daisy used to play with other body parts, and she thought I didn’t know it, but I saw her.” Those two were close, close friends, but we married and moved away from our hometown, and they lost contact until these letters and phone calls started. He told me he loved his wife and they have children and grandchildren, but he told me she didn’t do sex as well as I did.”
She added, “My daddy diddled me before I could walk and the Chief understood. He let me do things to him and we always, always enjoyed ourselves. When we were together that time on the boat back at the Mansion, we were both wild people. I found out Zander was with us.”
Deidre confessed, “Sue, the last night on the farm, he took a blue pill early in the day and we started right after dinner. We took breaks, and we started again and he was going hard and strong but then he just stopped. Just like that!”
“I don’t know how, but I managed to get him off the bed, and I dragged him into the kitchen and left him there and I called Perry, but it was just like when Zander was with us that last time.”
Sue didn’t have the heart to tell her that Zander was on the farm. She just couldn’t tell her she suspected him of walking the baby and causing the chief to choke out. She just couldn’t tell her.
Just after Deidre went back up to her place, Perry walked in the back door. These days he is always in a good mood. Lars has his own place now and Perry is fully in charge, the way it should be.
He’s wearing his bib overalls with one strap loose and of course his red plaid shirt over his long johns. He took his shoes off before coming in because he had been planting pumpkin seeds. He knew Sue would be all over his head if he tracked dirt in her kitchen. He threw his hat on the back of a chair.
He washed his hands in the sink and dried them on a dishtowel. Sue swiped at him in fun and said, “You always do that, wash your hands in the bathroom but she honestly didn’t mind. Perry is Perry, take it or leave it. She said, “I just made a chocolate pound cake, go have a piece.” Perry loved Sue’s cooking, especially when she was into it, so yeah, a slice of cake and some milk.
He sat at the table eating cake and Sue used the kitchen wall phone and called Seymour. She was a little frantic and when he answered, she almost cried, “Seymour, come and get Zander.” She was upset at having to make this request, but he was causing trouble.
Seymour said, “Hey Ma, calm down.” As a matter of fact, I am coming in just a few weeks with a woman looking for her husband.
He told Sue that he met the woman when she came a little while back searching for Daisy. Since then, she has called again and told me she is looking for her husband, Mac. She said he told her he was working on a farm belonging to Ezekial Jinx. She said she just assumed he was a member of my family.
Seymour told Sue, “I gave her the number. But she called me back and asked me to go with her to the farm. She said a man on the phone told her that her husband was sick and he needed help taking care of him. The man asked her to come.”
Sue said, “He told Lars he was “Alexander McKinsey, but people called him Mac. But Seymour, the man was a policeman and he’s dead. I’M sure Lars didn’t tell her he was sick. I AM sure however, it was Zander.”
Seymour said, “A police chief? Looking for Daisy? And he’s dead?
He continued, “I am just waiting for her to get here and we’ll be there. Probably another week or two.”
“Please hurry.”
After the call, Sue sat down at the table with Perry. She was in a tizzy, but she and Perry agreed to play it out because Zander would be gone soon. Together they went down the list of the shit that Zander had a hand in doing:
1.Zander followed Lars to the barn and saw him fucking his pet goat. ByGum who was Daisy’s cousin was jerking off behind the door. Zander blew through him like a strong gust of wind and the surprise caused ByGum to jerk too hard and he pulled his member off his body. They fed him to the hogs.
2.Zander almost forced Daisy to drink her own poison, but Seymour had a crush on her and took her away.
3.There was Rain who stole money from Albert but at least she is just put away somewhere. Zander controlled her mind.
And now, Perry says, “I’m wearing this fucking eye patch because of our son.” Sue commented, “Well, that’s on you.” You slammed him so hard when he was a kid that his eye popped out, remember that? You thought you could make him stop playing with his little people, remember that?
Perry remembered and he was thinking he would like to kick Zander’s ass for causing him this misery. But he was also thinking he was too old for shit like that and anyway, he thought, what would I be kicking, AIR? He thought that ass hole is nothing but air even if he is my son, just air.
Sue finally said, “Perry, he had the nerve to enter baby AJ. He walked the baby down a road and caused him to stab people; to bite that girl’s body and oh, we can’t forget the Chief and Deidre.”
Perry said, “I heard about him biting Rosalyn, I think that’s her name. She lives with her dad on the farm but she’s dating Nora, who works part-time at the dress shop in town and sometimes part-time at Tray’s Coffee Nook. They’ve been together a long time, but she prefers to live on the farm. Sue wondered how he knew so much but she let it pass.
She said, “Uh huh” and continued, “By the way, Deidre was with that man in her bed all night. Zander was probably pushing him, pushing him until well, he’s gone. You helped bury him, didn’t you?”
Perry just said, “Uh huh.” When I got there, he was on the kitchen floor with a hard on sticking straight up like an arrow. Yeah, either Zander or the pill or all of it but still, probably too much for him, but Sue, she had dragged him from her room to the kitchen. He was twice her size, but I didn’t ask, I didn’t say why or nothing, because I was shocked. She was crying and moving around in a panic, and she had wrapped a robe around herself, but she was naked under there.
I, or we wrapped the dead man in a rug and dragged him to my truck and drove out to the back field and buried him. His rod was down by the time we put him in the ground. I haven’t talked to her since.
They said in unison, “Zander has to go.”
Zander could care less about the farm or any of the residents. The walk with baby AJ was just to get off the farm, to see his surroundings. He actually laughed when he remembered the fun he had that evening. He was going to tell Seymour to get a peacock for his Zoo. He thought to himself, they are beautiful birds, but I love that scream.
As for the farm, he left this place for good when he was almost eighteen. The only reason he came back is because Perry and Sue needed help with a problem that Lars had created. But now, that’s cleared up.
Another reason he stayed was to get even with Perry. Nobody heard him, but he said, “I’m ready to go back to the Mansion and back to Sarge.” And he danced a ghostly dance and sang, “Seymour’s coming, Seymour’s coming and I’m leaving this place.”
Sue was thinking of meeting the Chief’s wife. She recalled Deidre saying the woman is a seamstress, maybe she could work with that.
She was thinking she could tell her that her husband died but they could not contact her and if she wanted to see the body, well, she would tell her they had to cremate him.
She thought about meeting her when she arrived at the Mansion, she had never been there, but she shivered because dammit, Zander started this shit. He had to go!