The kitchen was quiet except for the distant crackling of the bonfire outside. The faint sound of laughter and music drifted in from the beach, but inside, the air between JL and Chih En was heavy.
JL hesitated, his fingers tightening around the edge of the counter. Chih En stood by the fridge, his back turned.
"Chih En..." JL started, his voice barely above a whisper.
Chih En closed his eyes for a moment before slowly turning around again. His expression was unreadable, as always, but his eyes held something different tonight - something tired.
"What is it?" Chih En asked, leaning against the fridge.
JL swallowed hard. He had rehearsed this moment in his head, but now that he was standing here, everything felt wrong.
"I..." JL struggled to find the words. He had always known how much Chih En meant to him. He knew that Chih En was special, that he was different from everyone else. But he also knew that no matter how much he cared, he couldn't give Chih En the answer he wanted.
Chih En sighed softly, his gaze dropping for a moment before locking back onto JL's.
"I already know what you're going to say," he said, his tone eerily calm. "Just say it."
JL clenched his fists. He hated this. He hated that he was hurting Chih En, the person whom he had cared for so much.
"I care about you," JL finally said, his voice thick with emotion. "More than anything. You're - you're the best person I know. But..." He exhaled shakily. "I don't know if I can answer you the way you want me to."
Chih En didn't react at first. He simply watched JL, his face betraying nothing. Then, after a long silence, he let out a quiet chuckle. It wasn't happy.
"I figured," he said, barely above a whisper.
JL stepped closer, desperate to make him understand. "It's not because I don't like you," he said quickly. "I do. You're - special to me. More than just a friend. But I'm scared. We're in a group together. We have the same dream. I've seen people change after confessions, and I don't want to lose what we have."
Chih En nodded slowly, but JL could see the pain in his eyes.
"I get it," Chih En murmured. "You don't have to explain any further."
JL's throat tightened. "But I want to," he insisted. "I need you to know that you mean so much to me. I don't want to hurt you."
Chih En looked down at the floor, then back up at JL with a small, exhausted smile. "Too late."
JL felt his chest tighten painfully. "Chih En..."
Chih En stepped forward suddenly, wrapping his arms around JL in a tight embrace. JL felt him tremble slightly.
"Thank you," Chih En whispered against his shoulder. His voice was barely there, but it carried the weight of everything he wasn't saying.
JL felt tears prick at his eyes. He wanted to say something - anything - that would make this better, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he clung to Chih En like he was afraid he'd disappear.
Chih En pulled back slightly, just enough to look at JL's face. His eyes were red but unreadable. Then, with the faintest hesitation, he leaned in and placed a soft peck on JL's cheek.
JL's breath caught.
When Chih En stepped back, he didn't look at JL again. He simply turned toward the door.
JL instinctively reached out, his fingers brushing against Chih En's wrist. "Wait - "
Chih En didn't stop walking. He didn't turn back.
JL's hand dropped to his side.
The moment the door clicked shut behind Chih En, JL felt his knees give out. He sank to the floor, pressing his hands against his face as silent sobs wracked his body. He had hurt the one person he never wanted to hurt.
Outside, as if the skies had felt their pain, the rain began to pour.
Chih En walked aimlessly through the downpour, his clothes quickly soaking through. He didn't care. He didn't even notice. His expression remained blank as he walked along the beach, the sound of raindrops drowning out everything else.
Then, without warning, his knees buckled, and he collapsed onto the wet sand.
For the first time in a long time, he cried.
Not the quiet, hidden tears he was used to, but a raw, unguarded sob that shook his entire body.
The rain mixed with the warmth of his tears, and for a moment, he couldn't tell the difference.
--
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, hidden beneath one of the tables, Park Han sat with his knees drawn to his chest. He had been there the whole time.
He let out a slow, measured breath, staring at the ceiling.
"So this is what it looks like..." he murmured to himself.
His fingers curled slightly against his knee.
Outside, the rain continued to fall.