"Is that supposed to be a threat?" I ask. He rises from his position, meeting my eyes.
"Not if you complete the conclave without faltering".
"Where is this theatendan?"
"I'll lead the way". he said, walking out of the room.
I followed, steps heavy with dread.
I have to kill 10 people. I have to kill my kind. Just to become their queen, is it really worth it? I couldn't keep my mind from these thoughts. I can't execute my own kind.
No, No I can't do that. But is it really my kind.
I've lost my humanity. Or have I? I, I don't belong here I should be back home, not here thinking about killing 10 people, innocent people.
"No, no don't, Seira wait, no don't kill me!. Seira wait." My little sister lily shouted as we played her favourite game on the Tv. "Ha Ha too late, already did." I said as I killed her character. "You're always cheating, that's why you always win". She said trying to justify her lose. "Nope, you're just too weak to win" I said taunting her. "Mom! Seira is being mean to me again! she complained faking tears. "That's right cry like the little loser you are, I'm gonna go play with Aries." I said taunting her once again.
"Seira don't be mean to your little sister" My mom scolded me. "I barely said anything to her." I shot back.
"You're not a winner, you're a killer! lily shouted still faking tears.
The smell of blood pulled me from my memory.
"This is the Theatendan" He said facing toward the macabre place.
It was built like an arena not with wood or metal but with dark lurking shadows and a strange type of material, rusty brown but steady. dried blood covering all parts of the place, enormous crowd of oblivions gathered around the place. Ten figures knelt in the arena's heart - shaking, breath shallow, eyes wide with unspeakable horror, Hands chained.
My blood ran cold. Among the kneeling figures, I saw her - a child. No older than four, maybe five. Small. Fragile. Wrong. "I will not take the life of a child," I said, stepping back, the weight of the crown suddenly unbearable.
"You didn't flinch taking the life of the king, why hesitate now?" He said reducing the gap between us.
I pushed him back with force, not with my hands, with my eyes, I could feel the heat radiating off me, I could feel myself slipping - heat rising, thoughts fracturing. Cold hands grab me from behind this time the grip gentle, aware. I flinched on command. "Seira, you're losing control, relax". The voice whispers in my ear from behind, the cold breath hitting my face.
"Cilith?" I said.
"Seira, they will die regardless, if you don't do this right now you'll be meeting the same fate they hold, it's too late for you to regret now."
She said still whispering, as if scared of someone except me hearing her.
"Kill or die you have five minutes to decide." the guard said, giving cilith a sign then leaving the arena.
"You won't see a thing. You just have to kill, slash their throats, they won't even scream, they are too traumatized to do so". She gestured her hand towards the weapons hanging like pieces of art, "Pick the sword."
She is right if I don't do this I will die along side them. Sacrifice the few for the many? I thought to myself advancing towards the sword with deliberate, shaking slow steps.
My hands trembled as I picked the sword up and positioned myself in front of those people, I took one look at all of them, My eyes met the little girls her tiny face filled with innocence, purity My heart ached as Cilith came behind me, placing a cloth on my eyes tying it in a knot at the back of my head.
"You told me you wont tell your sister." My best friend Naira said when she came over to my house for a sleepover. She gave me the look that meant she was serious. " I'm sorry I couldn't keep it in." I said giving her the most apologetic look I could. " Oh my god you actually told her" she screeched. "You are so dead, I'm going to kill you!" She said chasing me with the fake sword she gifted me for my birthday. "I said I'm sorry" I tried negotiating with her. "No! you have commited a sin that is unforgivable, now you must die. she said in a fake playful voice placing the sword to my neck.... .. .. ..
"Se...e.. ira?" A voice startled me, as the memory faded and the darkness returned. That voice.. it seemed familiar. too familiar. Then it rang, along with the dread the fear the sorrow. "Naira?" I said, my lips quivering, hope lingering in my body, goosebumps rising on my arms, my heart sinking. "please don't be her" My mind begging over and over.
"Seira?, is that y.. you?" She spoke again her voice filled with hope and horror.
No. It was her. It can't be.
I stumbled back, my body went numb, my hands lost their grip on the metal sword, they were once clutching. The sword collided with the ground cutting through the silence like a warning, not for them, for me.
"Seira, I'm scared." Naira's voice echoed in my head, I forced my hands to take the blind fold off, it didn't budge, it stayed like it was a part of me. I made my way toward Naira, "It's alright, I'm here". I said getting on my knees to hug her. My hand reaching for the little knife tucked away under my belt.
"The supposed queen is a stain on our empire!" A voice shouted from the crowd.
"She is weak, unfit to rule, She can not even kill a mere insect!" another voice shouted.
"W.. what are they talking about Seira?" Naira questioned her body still trembling under my arms. "Remember the time we watched the stars together, alone our heads on each others shoulder?" I said. My voice quivered, barely holding itself together. My arms hugging her tighter with each word.
"Yeah, it was the best day of my life, remember when you laughed so hard you ended up snorting so bad you sounded like a pig?" She said, I could feel the tiny smile plastered on her face even though Her voice cracked as she spoke.
"Naira, I want you to know that I love you, each moment I spent with you, I will cherish. Don't be afraid. I will protect you with my life." I said, as my face got stained with heavy tears, as my breath stilled, as I ever so gently dashed the small knife into her neck. She gasped, I felt her eyes shut close, I felt the warm tears flow down her cheeks, I felt her heart beat slow down. I held her through it. "I know you will". she whispered. I hugged her tighter as I felt her heart stop. I didn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, not after what I did.