I get home at eleven at night. I’m exhausted.
I stayed on the floor for about a minute, letting the cold water wash over me, to recover from the intense orgasm and to get the strength back in my legs too. Then I quickly rinsed off, dried myself, and got dressed in a hurry to get out of there as fast as possible—that’s how ashamed I was. The gym was empty when I left. I took a taxi, and it wasn’t until I got in the car that I allowed myself to breathe a sigh of relief. And of shame, too. How am I going to face him tomorrow at the office? Should I quit? Maybe that would be best? Or should I just call in and say I’m sick and can’t come to work? But I’d have to face him some other day. No, I have to be a woman and act as if nothing happened. As if I hadn’t recognized him. Yes! It might not be him on the other side of the door; it could be someone else. Tomorrow I’ll go to work and act normally, as if nothing had happened beyond the stumble, the message, and the headbutt.
I wake up to the second alarm, feeling more tired than usual, yet I go through the same daily routine until I get to work.
- Good morning, Laila.
I interrupt her third coat of lipstick.
- Good morning, Blair. You look… the same as always.
I accept the pseudo-compliment.
- You look the same too.
I kept going through the same daily ritual, in the futile hope of one day winning over the boss. If only she knew what had happened to me the night before with him… she wouldn’t believe it. No one would believe me.
I get right to work. I brought a change of clothes to put in my locker, just in case I ever need them again, along with two extra pairs of panties. I focus on the schedule and giving Laila the boss’s new shifts for next week, answering calls and replying to emails received overnight. I get on with my work until the elevator chime sounds. Its characteristic “ding” had never set my heart racing—until today. I don’t look up from my laptop and push my glasses as far back on my nose as I can. I feel my body burning and my heart beating so fast that I’m afraid I’m going to have a heart attack. I realize he’s accompanied by Dr. John, the best lawyer in the area with the largest and most well-known law firm in the country. Out of the corner of my eye, I peek; he’s talking at a steady pace, one hand in the pocket of his dark gray suit pants that fit him temptingly well, his white shirt with the top two buttons undone, so relaxed and tense at the same time. I squeeze my thighs in an attempt to release the tension building between my legs. I see Laila standing up to welcome the boss and his entourage, and I know they’re about to walk past us.
“Good morning, Mr. Parker, Mr. Withacker.”
She says with a sweet smile and a look that says I want to have a threesome with both of you, right now.
I don’t stand up, because I never do; I just fix my gaze on Mr. Withacker and whisper a barely audible “good morning.” Both continue toward the office, pausing their conversation only to give us a very quick “good morning.” When I see them reach the door to his office, I breathe a sigh of relief; however, Mr. Parker stops at the door.
“Do you need anything, Mr. Parker?”
Laila asks. He doesn’t answer her. In an involuntary gesture, I glance in his direction, and our eyes meet. He gives me a triumphant look.
“Good morning, Blair.”
He doesn’t wait for my reply. He holds his fleeting gaze on me for a few more seconds and turns away, closing his door. I’m caught off guard, and my wide eyes don’t hide it. He knows. And now he’s made it clear that he was the one on the other side of the door. He wanted to make sure I knew that. I feel like I’m on fire, and I see the confusion on Laila’s face. I don’t know what to say to her because I’m at a loss for words too; I just raise my hands as if I didn’t understand either and try to hide my shock.
He’s never noticed me, never. And now, after last night, he decides to take notice of me? Is it to embarrass me? To antagonize me? I wish I were a little ant right now! Why didn’t he let it slide, pretending it wasn’t him, just like I was pretending everything was normal? How am I supposed to work like this? His office is all glass and has a direct view of my side, so he can always see me. I’d never thought about that until now.
I tell Laila I’m going to the restroom. As soon as I walk in, I splash water on my hands and my neck to cool down. It’s just too much happening in a single morning. I grab my phone and send a message to Jonathan.
“Break at 10 a.m., on your floor. Urgent!”
He replies immediately.
“Urgent, like, bring coffee, or bring rum in a coffee cup?”
I roll my eyes; honestly, I’d go for the second option, but if I say that, I know he’ll actually bring rum in a coffee cup.
“Bring coffee. Seriously.”
“Alright.”
It’s 10 o’clock; Laila barely spoke to me—I know it was because of Mr. Parker’s sudden attention toward me. I practically run to the elevator. As soon as I reach Jonathan’s floor, I’m greeted by generous “good mornings” from his coworkers. The men act like they’ve never seen a woman before; they’re always hitting on a woman who isn’t from their department. Even though they’ve been seeing me for almost two years, many don’t give up and end up becoming repulsive to me.
Jonathan doesn’t say good morning; he just hands me a disposable cup of coffee, steaming hot.
- Ugh. I’m dying to know what’s been going on in your old lady life.
- Seriously, Jonathan. I need you to promise me this will stay between us.
His eyes suddenly light up and he seems to snap out of it.
- Ooh! I can tell there’s gossip coming! “Between us” just between us, or “between us” including Bia or Claire?
- Just between us, you and me! Only.
I lower my voice so no one can hear us. I can’t bear this tension alone, especially since nothing like this has ever happened in my quiet life.
- Well… The boss and I had, um… a moment.
He arches his perfectly microbladed eyebrow.
- What kind of moment?
He takes small sips of the coffee brewed in Hell. My embarrassment is palpable; I can’t look him in the eye.
- Well… an… intimate moment.
I glance at him, his wide eyes staring at me in shock. He almost spits out his coffee.
- WHAT?! No. An intimate moment like, “Good morning, Mr. Parker, I accidentally grabbed your dick just to see how big it is,” or the kind of intimate moment where I say, “Mr. Parker, please take my virginity”?
- Keep your voice down!
I slap his arm and look around to see if anyone heard. That’s my secret, known only to him, Claire, and Bia. No one else. It was never my intention to save myself for so long, but I was misled by the ridiculous romance novels I’ve been reading since I was a teenager, and, well, no boyfriend was “the one.”
- So? Which one was it?
- I think you’re leaning more toward the second option. – I shift uncomfortably, pressed against the wall, feeling the shame all the way to the tips of my hair.
He starts laughing loudly, drawing stares from others. He loves to show off. I start to regret telling him.
- Are you sure it was Mr. Ruthless? The boss? Are you sure you didn’t mix him up with someone else?
- I’m sure. He made sure I knew it was him this morning.
I don’t tell him what happened the night before. It’s too private.
- Girl, are you having an affair with the boss? Did he take your…
- No! He didn’t touch me. - He looks confused, not understanding a thing. – Look, it was an intimate, sexual moment, but there was no touching. And it was just a moment. But that’s not the point! The point is that this morning he said to me, “Good morning, Blair.”! - He lets out a laugh, as if that were normal. – Jonathan, in the two years I’ve worked here, he’s never said good morning to me or even looked at me; I was practically invisible to him, and I liked it that way! And now it seems like things have changed, and I don’t want that! I need you to tell me how I can make everything go back to normal.
Realizing my desperation, he becomes serious.
- Okay, let’s be rational. Maybe he teased you this morning, but it might be nothing more than a tease and nothing else. Soon he’ll stop, and you’ll be invisible again. Act normally; try not to react to his taunts. It’s the best you can do, and soon you’ll see that he loses interest and everything goes back to normal.
I take a small sip of my coffee. Maybe he’s right; it’s best to ignore him. He’ll get tired of it soon enough. I have to keep things professional.
I say goodbye to Jonathan and wait for the elevator. Even though I’m unsure, talking to Jonathan did me good. And having a plan helps calm my nerves. Focus on work.
The “ding” of the elevator signals its arrival. I’m distracted, scrolling through the news on my phone. The doors open, and I glance around to make sure no one’s in front of me so I can step in, but I freeze in my tracks, nearly spilling my coffee. There he is, in all his glory; hands resting on the bar behind him. Sleeves rolled up. And he’s glancing sideways at me. My heart stops for a second. He holds out his hand, signaling that there’s enough space for me to get in. I hesitate, but I remember Jonathan’s words: act normal.
I step forward, not quite sure of myself. I lock my phone and press it against my chest so he won’t notice how nervous I am. I nod briefly and turn my back on him, staring fixedly at the design department as the doors close. I feel as if I’ve been caught in a trap. Suddenly I feel claustrophobic. I don’t need to press the button; we’re both going to the same floor. When the elevator starts to rise, I feel his presence very suddenly, behind me.
Has the hunter come to devour his prey?
I can almost feel his breath on me. I don’t dare move, not even taking my eyes off the closed gray doors.
- Good morning, Blair.
His deep voice echoes throughout this square box we’re in, practically drowning out the elevator’s background music. It gives me goosebumps, and in a panic to move and distance myself from his presence, I take a step to the side and turn toward him. I push my glasses up, trying not to look at the floor.
“G… Good morning, Mr. Parker.”
There goes my attempt to look confident and act normal.
He gives a small, sidelong smile. He knows I’m uncomfortable.
“How have you been?”
I swallow hard. This is pure torture. His hands are in his pockets. I’m forced to glance at him briefly, always averting my gaze from his intimidating blue eyes. I feel like this is amusing him.
- Fine. And you?
I only think after I speak. I shouldn’t have asked. He gives a small smile, leaning against the elevator wall again, but this time he stands parallel to me. Both of us against opposite walls, with an uneasy space between us. He keeps looking at me, and I, lacking the courage to hold his stare any longer, look down at the floor, embarrassed.
- Me too. Last night I was at the gym working out.
He doesn’t continue. I take a deep breath.
- Oh, really? Good for you.
- And while I was there, one of the most exciting things in my life happened.
I’m cornered and filled with shame. I don’t want to talk about it; I just want to disappear. Mr. Parker seems to love psychological torture, but I’m not the type of woman to play those kinds of games. I have to put an end to this. I have to clear things up with him now, before the situation gets worse.
I gather my courage and look into those blue eyes.
- Mr. Parker, listen, what happened yesterday shouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry for my behavior…—I try to find professional words, though it’s a bit impossible.—Unprofessional. I’m so sorry, I promise it won’t happen again.
I know I look like a total fool. I adjust my glasses again, putting them in the right place and looking away from Mr. Relentless. He seems a little surprised.
—Oh, really? What a shame. Oh! And was that Miss Blair? What a... pleasant surprise.
I look at him, startled. Was that a compliment? And he’s pretending to be surprised when he saw me, knowing full well it was me.
- You know perfectly well it was me. As I told you, I’m so sorry; I really hope we can go back to the professional behavior we had before and forget that episode.
I look at him determinedly, but my determination crumbles the moment he quickly moves toward me.
- Miss Blair, have I been unprofessional up until now?
- No… no, of course not. But I’d prefer to go back to the way things were before.
I can smell his scent getting closer and closer. A sweet, woody scent that makes my head spin. He leans his left arm against the wall and, with his index finger, lightly touches the underside of my chin and applies a little pressure, lifting my head until our eyes meet. My heart is beating so fast and my mouth is watering, forcing me to swallow. His gaze briefly travels down my throat, pausing at the cleavage revealed by my open shirt. His look returns to mine, and without warning, he flashes his smile. A smile so seductive that I almost faint. So is this the famous smile that earned him the nickname “Heartbreaker”? If so, then I’m lost.
- Miss Blair, after yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the rest of the night. I had to pleasure myself three times just to get to sleep. If I don’t sleep, it affects my work and my mood. Do you understand?
I can only nod in agreement. My brain can’t think straight or give orders to get a single word out.
- In that case, and since you’re my assistant, can you find a slot in my schedule so we can solve my problem?
Is he implying that he and I… No, it can’t be.
- O… of course. Who do you want me to call? I need your number so I can schedule it.
I catch him off guard. And myself, too. Suddenly the doors open. Our eyes meet for a few brief seconds, but then he lowers his arm and heads toward his office without saying a word. He slams the door so hard that the windows rattle.
Laila jumps out of her chair at the crash, and I shudder. In the two years I’ve worked here, I’ve never witnessed a reaction like this, and it was the first time in my life I’d had a sexual experience like the one from the night before. I step out of the elevator, trembling, and head toward my desk, without even glancing into his office. The best thing to do is just focus on my work.