Three Years Ago, High School.
The school library was supposed to be quiet.
Jay Lee liked it that way. It was one of the few places where he could disappear without anyone questioning it. People came here to study, to nap, to escape the noise of the hallways. He was one of them, a background figure no one really paid attention to.
At least, until today.
Jay was shelving books near the back, fingers trailing along the worn spines, when he heard it - a soft sound, almost like a sigh.
Then a low voice. "Not here."
Jay frowned, hesitating before stepping closer.
The voice was familiar. Too familiar.
He turned the corner just enough to peek through the small gap between the shelves, and his breath caught in his throat.
Han River.
Pinned against the bookshelf.
Another boy - someone from the soccer team, Jay realized belatedly - was leaning into him, hands gripping Han's collar, lips moving against his in a slow, unhurried kiss.
Jay knew he should look away. He should leave.
But he couldn't.
Han wasn't pushing him away. If anything, he looked… amused. One of his hands rested against the boy's hip, fingers barely curled, while his other hand reached up to lazily tug at the back of the guy's uniform shirt. It was effortless, like he wasn't even trying, like he was used to this.
Then, as if sensing something, Han's eyes fluttered open mid-kiss.
Jay's stomach dropped.
For one terrifying second, Han looked right at him.
Jay ducked, heart hammering.
Had Han seen him? No, that wasn't possible. The gap between the books was too small, too narrow - he couldn't have - but still, the way Han had looked sent a strange heat crawling up Jay's neck.
He waited a few agonizing seconds before forcing himself to move, practically stumbling away from the aisle.
His hands were trembling.
And for the first time, Jay found himself wondering--
Had anyone ever looked at him like that?
--
Present day, University Library.
Jay pressed his pen against his notebook, staring at the words he'd been trying to write for the past ten minutes.
Nothing.
His mind wasn't on his studies. It hadn't been the moment he walked into the library and saw him.
Han River.
Just right in front of him.
It had been years since high school, but Han hadn't changed. If anything, he had become more… more everything. Taller. Sharper. More confident, if that was even possible. He still had that effortless way of carrying himself, like nothing in the world could faze him.
And, of course, he was still the center of attention.
Two girls at a nearby table were whispering about him, sneaking glances in his direction. A guy near the reference section kept looking, pretending to read but clearly distracted.
Jay swallowed.
It made sense. Han was that kind of person. The kind who didn't even have to try to draw people in.
But what Jay hadn't expected - what made his stomach twist uncomfortably - was the thing sitting right in front of Han.
His notebook.
Jay's notebook.
The one he had lost in high school. The one filled with thoughts he had never spoken aloud.
His fingers curled around his pen as he forced himself to look away.
But then Han moved.
Jay didn't mean to watch, but his eyes betrayed him. Han reached for his coffee, his sweater slipping just enough to reveal the sharp line of his collarbone. He took a slow sip, gaze fixed on the book in front of him, completely at ease.
And then, without lifting his head, he spoke.
"You're staring."
Jay's entire body went rigid.
His grip on his pen tightened as he quickly looked down at his textbook. "I wasn't."
Han hummed, the sound almost amused. "Right."
Jay kept his eyes glued to his notes, pretending to read. His heartbeat was unsteady, too fast.
It wasn't fair.
Han shouldn't be able to make him nervous with just a few words.
For a moment, silence settled between them again, but Jay knew Han was still watching. He could feel it. It was the same feeling he had back in high school - that quiet, suffocating awareness of Han's presence, except this time, it was worse. Because now, Han knew he had caught him staring.
Jay inhaled sharply and finally forced himself to look up. "Where did you get that notebook?"
Han didn't answer right away. He glanced down at the notebook in question, fingers brushing over the cover, as if considering something. Then, lazily, he flipped it open.
Jay's breath hitched.
His handwriting. His words.
Han had read them.
His throat went dry. "That's mine."
Han raised an eyebrow. "Is it?"
"Yes," Jay said, voice steadier than he felt. "I lost it years ago."
Han tilted his head slightly, looking at him in that way that made Jay feel like he was being studied, picked apart. Then, he smirked.
"Guess it wasn't lost, then."
Jay's stomach twisted.
He hated that answer. Hated that Han was being so damn calm about this.
"Did you read it?" Jay asked, his voice quieter now.
Han didn't respond right away. Instead, he leaned forward slightly, resting his elbow on the table. His gaze was sharp, unreadable.
"Should I have?"
Jay swallowed hard. "No."
Han hummed again, dragging a finger along the edge of the notebook.
Jay didn't like that sound. It was the same as before - the same amused, knowing hum he had heard back in high school.
"You always were shy, weren't you?" Han murmured, almost to himself.
Jay's face burned. "I - " He shut his mouth, frustrated. "Just give it back."
Han didn't move.
For a long moment, they just stared at each other.
Then, finally, Han leaned back in his chair and pushed the notebook across the table.
Jay hesitated before reaching for it, fingers brushing against the worn cover. He pulled it close, heart still racing.
He needed to leave. He needed to get out of here before Han said something else that would make him spiral.
But before he could stand, Han's voice stopped him.
"You know," he mused, stretching his arms behind his head, "I don't usually keep things that don't belong to me."
Jay looked at him sharply. "Then why did you keep this?"
Han's smirk widened, but he didn't answer.
Instead, he stood, grabbing his bag with one smooth motion. He didn't even spare Jay another glance as he turned to leave, his sweater slipping just enough to reveal another glimpse of skin.
And just as he reached the exit, he glanced over his shoulder.
"See you around, Jay."
Jay sat frozen, fingers clenched around his notebook.
His name, on his notebook cover.
Jay didn't know what just happened.
But something told him--
Han wasn't going to make this easy.