The Goodbye Gift & One Last Group Chat Gist
There was no dramatic exit.
No airport chase. No slammed doors. No playlist of heartbreak bangers queued on repeat.
Just quiet.
After Ilashe, she slipped back into her life, work, gym (ish), voice notes to herself, and drinking garri with almond milk because she's still trying to be healthy.
Chef didn't call.
He texted. Once a day. Nothing spicy.
"Still rooting for you. Always."
She never replied. But she never blocked him either.
She just… saved the messages.
The group chat staged an intervention.
Feyikemi booked a brunch table at Flowershop Café.
Zee brought printouts (because she still believes in physical receipts).
Didi came with chaos.
They ordered mimosas and started with vibes.
But Didi, who doesn't believe in "small small grief," said:
"So… you done with soft love? Or you just resting?"
She laughed, stabbing her pancakes with unnecessary force.
"Soft love isn't the problem.
I just got caught up in proving I could be chosen… again.
And maybe I was. But not for who I am. For how soft I made him feel."
Zee whispered, "Omo."
And that was it. No dragging. No fixing.
Just truth - served with brunch and bottomless memes.
Two days later, a package arrived.
No name on the card. Just her address written in familiar handwriting.
Inside?
A stack of laminated recipe cards - handwritten. Smudged at the corners. Marked with little in-jokes.
A ribbon-tied note that simply said:
"Whether you loved me or the idea of me… I meant it all.
You made me softer."
She didn't cry.
She laughed.
Because of course he'd laminate his closure. Man was always putting salt and sentiment in the same breath.
That night, she opened her Notes app.
Scrolled to a line she'd written months ago:
"Not every love ends in forever. Some end in better boundaries."
She posted it on TikTok …. over clips of her eating noodles on her balcony, laughing with friends, applying lip gloss with the dedication of a woman who's survived Lagos dating.
The comments blew up.
Someone said:
"Girl, this ain't just content. It's closure."
Voice Note to the Group Chat
"Y'all… I'm not heartbroken. Just full.
Full of lessons. Full of gist.
Full of the kind of softness I used to chase in other people.
But maybe… just maybe, I was the soft thing I needed all along."
The End… For Now.
Chronicles of a Lagos Baddie ends here.
But her love life?
To be continued.