Ahaana returned to the institution the next day feeling awkward and distant. She kept fidgeting with her clothes and her fingers as if she couldn't tell what she was supposed to do with them.
Galen continued working on his painting without a single care in the world. He had greeted Ahaana in the morning like how he always did, with a brief smile and a nod- not a single trace of pity or difference in his eyes. Somehow it irked Ahaana more than she thought.
How could he act like nothing happened when she was standing here again after crying over her husband like that?
Sini had already declared the previous day that she would be late that day. She had to look after her niece since her mother had to attend her PSC exam. That left the two alone with two other students of Galen who were so skilled at this creative game that they needed no help from their teacher anymore. At this point, the institution was just a studio for them.
Galen stopped suddenly and stole a glance at her. Ahaana flinched.
Galen placed the paintbrush down and strolled over in her direction, but not before taking his phone from the tabletop. Why are you standing still over there like that? Don't you want to draw today?
Ahaana scratched the top of her head. "Not really." She admitted.
Galen's eyes lit up at her words. Great. Because I had something to show you. He extended a hand to her.
Ahaana stared at it for a few seconds before hesitantly accepting it. His hand was warm and so big compared to hers. Saidh's too were bigger than hers but they were not as slender as Galen's. They were thick, calloused hands which were used to hard labour. Galen's were soft, almost feminine.
He guided her to the room behind a closed door which was limited to Galen and Sini alone. She paused before the room and looked at Galen sceptically. But all Galen did was open the door and fumble around to find the light switch.
The lights flipped on and Ahaana blinked in an attempt to adjust to the sudden brightness. The room used the same palette as the main room- three yellow walls with drawings made on it and one white blank wall with framed pictures on it.
There were several easels and canvases in the room. They were all covered with sheer white fabrics bathed in dust.
Galen approached the easels one at a time and started removing the fabrics. They all revealed colourful paintings. One thing Ahaana noticed about them was that in all of them, there was a common presence- a smiling woman.
She was drawn in all styles Galen possessed, with the most beautiful colour palette known to men. She was smiling in all of them but they all were tinged with an air of melancholy. Like a photograph from the 90s, the paintings stood out.
But then she saw it. A painting that stood out from the rest. Ahaana frowned. Because in the painting, the woman was crying.
It was drawn with charcoal, with smudged pencil marks being the tear stains gliding down the cheeks. While all the others had a melancholic vibe to it, this one made her heart clench painfully.
It was different from every other painting by Galen. It, though beautiful, looked like an amateur's work. Perhaps it was Galen's very first work.
Galen stilled before it and looked at it with a strange look on his face. He reached out to it and gently brushed his hands against the canvas as if he were afraid a single touch would ruin everything.
"Why did you bring me here Galen?"
Galen breathed softly and passed her his phone which opened with just a single press of his finger. His eyes told what his voice couldn't.
Remember when I said you never walk alone? While it is the famous album's name, the words are true to its meaning. You are never alone, Ahaana. Even when you are grieving.
You don't have to be awkward around me. Because I can never judge you.
Sometimes you never stop grieving. And who knows it better than me?
Tanaka told me the portrait of her that I drew looked ugly, do you know why? Because that day she was grieving. Grieving for me. My voice that I lost. My future that I lost. Me who she lost. And I drew the grief in her.
But after I lost her, never did I draw her grieving, because how could I, when the memories that I treasured of her, the Tanaka I treasured the most, were never grieving?
One thing I learnt from my life is that while most people move on from their moment of grief, some people don't. They are stuck in time, forever repeating the moment inside their head, never letting go of the memories for they are afraid if they do, they'll lose them for real this time.
I know how you feel Ahaana. And that is fine. But if you lose yourself in the process, memories will die, you'll die. And nothing and no one can bring you back.
No one wants that to happen to you. Not Said, not Samreen. So, Ahaana, you can grieve with all your might but be fine at the same time.
If you let me, I can help you grieve in the right way. Will you allow me to help you?
Ahaana looked at him in wonder with tears in her eyes. Galen put both his hands in his pocket and slowly neared her, with a delicate smile on his lips.
Words from the previous day entered her mind and she flushed red with tears clouding her eyes again.
"To love or to not love is a choice. My choice was to love him,not just for today or tomorrow but for eternity. And I ought to stick to it, even though he can no longer love me like he did before."
Back in the main room where the fans were running at full speed, papers fluttered on the desk. One such paper fluttered and flew away to the side until it glided down the table to the floor. Where the paper once was, now remained a box with several cards stacked in it.
The rectangular card had Van Goh's Starry Night occupying most of it. Galen's name and Job were written in the leftmost corner in Serif font, adding to its elegant touch.
Galen Ryuu Takami
Art Director and Therapist
BBS
FIN-