Today is my birthday.

But it doesn't feel like a birthday.

People have wished me a happy birthday, and some have given gifts.

But something feels wrong.

Perhaps it's because I'm an adult now.

Birthdays are very different when you're an adult.

When you're a kid, the world stops on your birthday.

Even if you have to go to school, your birthday is still your special day.

Your mom brings cupcakes, and you have a mini party in class before your real party at home.

People seem to magically know it's your birthday.

Or you get to wear a birthday pin or even a sash.

When you're an adult, the world goes on as usual.

Your responsibilities don't pause for your special day.

Birthday cards from family get reduced to a Happy Birthday message on Facebook.

And that's just because Facebook tells them to.

Wearing a birthday pin or sash is seen as tacky attention-seeking.

Your depression doesn't give you a break.

It might even get worse because you don't feel special on your special day.

But you're not supposed to be sad on your birthday.

Maybe as I get older, I'll figure out how to make my birthday special.