Today is my birthday.
But it doesn't feel like a birthday.
People have wished me a happy birthday, and some have given gifts.
But something feels wrong.
Perhaps it's because I'm an adult now.
Birthdays are very different when you're an adult.
When you're a kid, the world stops on your birthday.
Even if you have to go to school, your birthday is still your special day.
Your mom brings cupcakes, and you have a mini party in class before your real party at home.
People seem to magically know it's your birthday.
Or you get to wear a birthday pin or even a sash.
When you're an adult, the world goes on as usual.
Your responsibilities don't pause for your special day.
Birthday cards from family get reduced to a Happy Birthday message on Facebook.
And that's just because Facebook tells them to.
Wearing a birthday pin or sash is seen as tacky attention-seeking.
Your depression doesn't give you a break.
It might even get worse because you don't feel special on your special day.
But you're not supposed to be sad on your birthday.
Maybe as I get older, I'll figure out how to make my birthday special.