I thought this would go down like a breeze.
Seven days how much could that really be?
If I reduced it to numbers, it didn’t seem that terrifying.
Just 168 hours.
Just 10,080 minutes.
But numbers lie.
This is only my third day, and I’m already losing my mind.
And somehow the way recent days have went i should give myself an applause for my progress.
“Hey, roadside Romeo!”
Liam’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Idling in the corner all day isn’t going to make your challenge any easier.”
A beer can came flying toward me. I caught it out of reflex. The metal was freezing against my palm. Still, I didn’t open it. I didn’t even feel like drinking.
No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, my thoughts kept slipping back running wild, looping endlessly.
Why am I doing this?
What was the need for all of this?
And the thought that hurt the most the one I couldn’t shake no matter how hard I tried:
She never actually replied to my confession.
Not with a yes.
Not with a no.
Just silence.
“Hey?”
Liam placed his beer can lightly on my head before popping it open. “You doing fine, buddy?”
“I’m good,” I muttered.
He snorted. “From where I come from, people who stare at walls for hours don’t exactly fall into the good category.”
He sat down beside me and took a long gulp of his beer.
“I’m not staring,” I said. “Just thinking.”
Liam tilted his head, eyes dropping to the untouched can in my hand. “You’re not going to drink that?”
“I don’t feel like it.” I tossed the can back to him. He caught it easily with his free hand.
My eyes drifted to the phone lying beside me silent, dark hoping it would light up with her name. Even a missed call would’ve been enough.
“She say anything?” he asked, his tone softer now.
I shook my head.
“Of course she didn’t,” he added quickly. “I mean, that’s the whole point. Silence. Capital S.”
I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but I just couldn’t or maybe wouldn’t smile.
“Hey, Liam?” I said quietly.
“Yeah?” He didn’t look away from his drink.
“Do you think she’s testing me?”
He glanced at me, a sly smile creeping onto his face. “Testing you how?”
“Like… seeing if I can actually follow this one rule. If I’ll break it for her.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And how exactly are you planning to verify that?”
I already knew the answer.
“Text her?” he added.
For a brief moment, I really wanted to punch that smug look off his face.
He chuckled. “Yeah. Boom. And just like that challenge blown.”
“For God’s sake, what should I do then?”
Even though I knew he didn’t have a solution either, Liam was still the one I trusted with all my frustration. He might not give answers, but he stayed. And sometimes, that was enough.
“Here.”
This time, he threw my Nike jacket at me. It landed straight on my face, blocking my vision.
“Sitting here won’t help,” he said. “That’s all I know.”
“Then what do you want me to do?” I asked, already pulling the jacket on.
He grinned. “At least you’ll be saved from those romantic stares with the wall.”
He started giggling again.
***
“Hey, Abhi!”
Liam dragged me along to one of his office parties something I was never good at. Crowds drained me faster than silence ever could.
“That’s Yash,” Liam said, nodding toward a guy nearby. “He was at our apartment last month. You guys played FIFA.”
I had a habit of forgetting names. Faces stuck around. Names disappeared immediately.
Liam caught the look on my face. He knew.
“Hey, Yash,” I said, shaking his hand.
He had dark, curly hair and an enviable height, though his frame was on the slimmer side. An ear piercing caught the light as he smiled.
“You wiped my ass last time,” he laughed.
I blinked. “Did I?”
My memory wasn’t that bad… was it?
“He’s talking about FIFA,” Liam said, saving me.
“Oh.” I laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, must’ve been my lucky day.”
“We’ll see if that continues next time as well… hehe.”
Well, that’s what you’d call a Gen-Z guy — carefree, aloof, untouched by overthinking.
“Sure,” I said. “Anytime you say, I’m free for another match.”
It wasn’t like I had anything better to do these days.
“Hey, Liam!”
Yash shook hands with him and quickly drifted into conversation. I stayed where I was, slightly behind, still not at peace with the place. My body was here, but my mind was somewhere else still running in circles around her.
Abhi?
I wasn’t even sure anymore if this silence was temporary… or if I had already lost her.
Abhi…
Even the thought tightened something in my chest.
“Hey, Abhi!”
Liam nudged me with his elbow, snapping me back to reality. I glanced sideways, confused.
“How can you ignore a lady like that?” he whispered, grinning.
A lady?
I followed the direction of his eyes.
And froze.
She stood a few steps away, holding a plastic cup loosely in her hand, as if she wasn’t quite sure whether she wanted to be here either. She wasn’t loud. She wasn’t trying to draw attention.
“Hey, Natasha!”
Liam understood immediately and broke the awkward silence.
“Hi, Liam… hi, Abhi.”
She greeted him first, then turned her gaze toward me.
“Hi, Natasha.” I shook the hand she raised toward me. “You were here too?”
“Yeah. I joined a while back,” she said, smiling as she glanced at Liam. “He never told you?”
“No, he did not,” I replied, looking at Liam again, finally understanding why he had dragged me to this party.
“Hey, Ayu!” Liam called out. “You guys continue. I will be back in a few minutes.”
“Hey, Liam, wait.”
Too late.
This bastard had planned it. I decided I would deal with him once we got home.
“Liam mentioned you were thinking of switching to this place,” she said, pulling me out of my silence.
Before I could think of a response, she had already carried the conversation forward.
Her eyes caught me off guard. Still the same. That faint greenish tint that made them stand out in any crowd.
How could I forget her?
Does anyone ever forget their first love?
Mine had been one sided. A quiet curse. Back in college, I never had the courage to tell her how I felt.
Time, however, had changed things.
Whatever I once felt for her was gone. Not buried. Just replaced. My heart was not empty anymore. It was full. Too full to make space for anyone else after I met her.
And yet, as our eyes met again, that old nervousness lingered in my body.
Not love.
Just memory.