"My life is going to change at 30, I can feel it, great things are coming". My life did change alright, it changed in some the ways I wanted but not as I expected.
Before I turned 30, I had started to see changes. My rich ex came back after realizing how much he hurt me with the previous break up and started showering me with money and gifts, travels included. My life seemed like it was going good, just as I wanted it when I turn 30. I told my boyfriend about the situation with my ex and he had no problems with it, except the constant travels which he did complain about. They weren't just travels, I was trying to run away from a problem I had gotten myself into"
All was fair and good till I realized I had ignited a relationship back with my ex and also dating a really kind and good man who I didn't want to hurt. I'd often times tell myself it wasn't a good move because it will be disastrous for me in the end and I might end up losing both of them. But I would shrug it off and say "I'll cross the bridge when I get there".
I eventually slipped into depression because of this and I became emotionally distant towards both of them. I used to always tell my current boyfriend that I wanted to stop because it was constant arguments with my ex but he'd often tell me to manage and keep my eyes on the price which was trying to get an American visa. It was something I'd said I'd work on and since it came on a platter from my ex, he told me to seize the opportunity, because he wasn't able to afford me that. I became so depressed and traveling became my way of escape.
A travel idea came from my ex to go to Kenya together and I talked to my boyfriend about it and we decided to mutually break up because I decided I won't be coming back. I thought I'd wait there till my American visa was ready. A move I wish I didn't make because that'd be the beginning of a lot of dark battles and pains.