Huh? Oddly that makes some sense. Thanks for the reply.
Wow, The ending totally made up for the beginning. What seemed to be a harsh story of a lonely mans steps to work. Turned out to be even more destructive to him with the introduction of an exotic bird that flew into and out of his life. Love the disappoin
Huh... I'm left with the notion that there is more to this. But as I re-read the title I'm disappointed that there is not. The notion of waiting to me has to have a conclusion to the waiting. She is in prison, waiting for what? The end of her life I figur
As you finish reading this, I would like your imput. I'am new at writing and I'm learning what it takes to capture an audience. Please leave your thought, emotions, and most of all, your criticism. One can not grow without opposition! Thanks.
Thanks for the reply. That is what I thought the answer was. Thanks!
Poor Jojo. Love can break the heart of anything, but love can also mend the broken heart. Good story.
I love the format of this, simple sentances leave the mind to expand and invent the world as they read. But as you continue to read the world that was created go through changes. It's like a dreamin a way. I'm glad she took him home, if she didn't the sto
Fighting against the monster of lust. With sweet words and kind actions we fall into the bliss it creates, sometimes unwillingly. Good story, but it seems like something is missing, or my coffee has yet to kick in. Either one I must say you have the skill
Great story! Great story! I love the simple things of life. We can get all crazy with the details and plot points, trying our hardest to make a great story and we forget the sometimes the simple things are the greatest. A slice of ones life can be as enjo
You have a great imagination, but a great imagination can over look the simple basics of writing. Wether there is a word defining what I'm about to say, I do not know. But never the less, here it is. The word "Antax" you understand what it is and what it
Ahhh... Moments of serendipity. They always make for a good story. But It would have help in the tension if you dragged on a little more. But I'm a believer in heavy contrast to create a better moment of release for the reader. Anyways good story, keep wr
When one goes through a moment of loss, after the long nights of denial, and the cold mornings of reallity. We attach ourselves to the happy moments of thier lives. Either you have gone through such a moment of loss or you know of it. Either one, it makes
Good story. If it was not labled 'fiction' I would have wondered if I was reading some sort of news paper ad. Which leads me to the question I have. What made you write this? I'm just wondering.
Great pace and tension. Just what a good short story should have. The only issue I have with it is the fact that you used a couple words that I had to look up to find out what they ment. This, of course made me stop reading, which I found a little annoyin
I must say first, I loved the story over all. But the first half was hard to get through. It took me a moment of tough thought to find out why. But, to be blunt and truthful, your character Demitri, is an ass. At least in the first half he is. I see that
I find it odd that I liked this story, maybe it was the way you portaied the sea side town. Or maybe it was because my imagination was caried off in the wonderment of why the hat was importaint enough to be taken from a child. Maybe a mixture of it all.
Good story. I like how it is an account of your childhood, were you look back upon your choices, not with judgment, but with a sence of wonderment and fondness of a time when the ground was brown and even the offencive things are seen in a happy light.
Ahhhh... The nostalgia of falling into one's imagination. Good story, I really enjoyed read it. It remined me of the "The greatest song in the world!" It's not the greatest song in the world, it's about the greatest song in the world. Love it!. Keep it up
Know as you read my comment that I am not trying to change your view on your writing. But i'm giving you an insite from someone who does not know the felling of your pain. Your story is insitefull but on a factual account. Write to me your feelings in
Very well discripted. I could feel your emotions through your play of words. Your pain and your anger and ultimatly your partcial acceptance through your vision of the photograph. I hope to hear more from you, not about your life, but your veiw of it. Kee