The afternoon rolled in yet I guess to kaun and diana were having so much fun they hadn't notice the orange sky.Me and Gorgia sat on the couch behind them,our eyes shifting occasionally from the Tv to the two on the floor.
Watching them diana play with. Kaun made me feel emotions bubble up. In my chest.All the memories I had to miss my heart as I had to reconcile with the fact that I'd had to miss half her life.
And in that moment, I found myself blessing god that I had been given such a gift.And I'm so thankful to my daughter who still cared to call me mom despite my absence.
I was so absorbed in the moment and my thoughts that when Gorgia tapped me on my arm, I was spoked.I turn to her, and she simply signs with her head to the kitchen.I nod,
"We'll be right back. Me and gorgia are going to start making dinner,"
In unison, the two go,"Okay," making a smile break through my usually blank and bored expression.The nerves are melting away it's held on my heart a little as i watch them have fun.
Me and Gorgia got up and walked to the kitchen doing our best to avoid stepping on any limbs.We began to take out the ingredients and set up our stations.
"So,what happened?"Pam asked as she was setting up the cutting board to cut the onions.
"What?" I said as I paused to look at her still holding the two eggs and milk.
"With damien,you don't have to tell me, but I just wanna know how you guys even got together."
I froze,I place whatever I hands down next to the eggs and milks I contemplated If i even wanted to go down that road of my memories.In fact I'd be surprised if Icoukd even remember half of it since I had gotten so good at using a shovel.
So much so that things I wanted to forget wouldn't resurfaced unlease seeping moments of it all eroded my soiled crevasses of my mind and caused it to burst open unleasing an earthquake within side of me.
As I pondered Gorgia began putting things into a bowl,reaching in front of me to grab an egg which brought me out of my frozen state.I quickly get back to moving around the kitchen.
"It was April,I think..."
The rain poured and people scattered to find shelter while those who predicted the weather that day walked along the gray bricked sidewalks.The sun was hidden away from the Moscow streets as people walked and rushed to and from.
Though the sounds of the rain and thunder covered the grounds except for one area in particular,the ryumochnaya,The bar next to the cafe.
Inside you'd find plenty of men,some with fellow friends and few with their dates. Among was a women whom stay alone at the bar counter drinking Sbiten with a touch of wine inside.
She wore a red blouse with a black skirt that was cut below the knee,her black heels set on the floor below her feet.but the thing that caught everyone's attention wasn't the fact she had her shoes off,but her hair.some stared in awe and other's in disgust,though majority simply stared because it was an uncommon color.
Her dishevealed appearance suggested that she was going through something,but no on cared to ask.many not even noticing how her eyes lacked life and how her hands clutched her cup tightly as she sat with it in her hands.
Not once had she been approached and only the bartender talked to her sparingly.Their conversation only consisting of her next order.
However one man in particular had stumbled his way over to her,He was drunk and looked like he could pass out at any moment.
"Hey" he said in a flirtatious tone.
The women sipped her drip and kept the drink near her face.She stared at him through the reflection of a beer glass set on the racks behind the bartender.
"Hey,you expecting anyone?" The man continued.
The man dressed in blue and tanbrown pants sat on the stoll and swayed on it like an anxious child.
He says something in english assuming like her she was a foreigner too,when he got no reply his little grin dropped and he decided to stop talking.
He ordered another drink and stayed seated beside her.Eventually the women got up and was about to walk out the door when he spoke up again after a long period of silence between them.
"Can I buy you a drink next time?"
"...no"
She left and went home,she drove home and went inside her apartment.She shrugged off her jacket and hung it up and left her shoes near the door.
She went Into her room grabbed a par of changing clothes and went to the bathroom where she showered brushed her teeth and went to bed.
When the morning came she woke up and started her day like any other.Same routine,same breakfast and same route to go to her job to seat at the same desk that made her feel the same dreaded feeling everyday.
As she was filing papers she caught wind of the news of an foreign coming to do bussiness with our company.The evening came and on her break she was sitting in the break room when she suddenly heard laughter in the office.
It wasn't unusual or odd since the office had many personalities and many of the workers had formed their friend groups early on.
However this was a different kind a laugh,It