She turned to the man beside her. The same soul she had once lost.
This time, she would speak.
This time, she would not stay silent.
Would he listen?
Or would history repeat itself again?
A Story of Love, Betrayal, and Fate in Ancient Egypt
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R C
It's a concise, well-balanced story you've written. I loved its clarity. Kudos!
E C
This story radiates mystery and elegance! The imagery of the Nile, the rising pyramid, and Neferet’s silent recognition of Asar create such a powerful atmosphere. There’s a sense of fate woven into their meeting, making me wonder—are they bound by the gods or something even older? I’d love to see where their story leads!
M S
Well written. I just would like to see a lot more. There is so much more you could do with this meeting, with their first glance, the knowledge of their pre-existence together. I know this is a multi chapter, but it feels like there is so much more you could do with each piece (if they are all like this). Just because it is a short story doesn't mean it needs to be a 2 minute read. Explore your thoughts more, the seem like good ones.
G C
Thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated. I will say that all stories (not including The Last Night) are all connected. It shows the past lives of the two main characters. Their names and circumstances are different in each lifetime, but their souls are the same throughout.