Chapter 2

I call my friend she is a bar lady at one of the clubs in Maboneng. She comes over l tell her everything she is so pissed Ben is an asshole he is a fucking pussy how can he abondon you after making you you give birth to so many kids, who does he think he is, she keeps shouting and cursing, don't insult the kids will hear you, it hurts a lot my friend l don't know where to go or what to do.

I have prayed and prayed but l still feel like l am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Dee come on not everything needs prayer it's this your praying attitude that makes people walk over you. Try something else's for a change nawe loya or something cause honestly this praying thing is giving you no results. Hayi Rose mani how can you say, prayer works for me Okey. Works where exactly, you're jobless soon to be homeless, three unwanted kids which area is this your prayer working exactly. I look down and tears start flowing.

I am sorry Dee l just get so angry at God when will he give you a break kanti huh. You lost both your parents early and that uncle wife treated you like a slave now this so called husband of yours is doing like this come on.

It doesn't matter l still trust in God l know what he has done for me what he doing for me. It might not be visible to you but l know that if it was not for God ejo was on my side wouldn't even be here today. I don't expect you to understand but l expect you to respect my faith. Thank you for coming but l will rest owl will call you. Dee l didn't mean to get you angry l cut her off. I am not angry at all l am just in so much pain lately and it has it has nothing to do with you.

After coming back from six weeks check up with my girl l got a call from Rose she got me a job as a cleaner at her work place l was very grateful after all l can't depend on hand outs from church to feed my kids. I asked of the old ladies at church to help me with the kids while l go work she was more than happy to help.

I get the kids ready to go to after l am done l kneel down to pray. My father who is in heaven l thank you for today. Thank you for your love and mercy over my life thank you for the job l got. Help me to be strong today let your peace flow in my heart Amen

So you will clean before opening time then you go at the back to help there after the bar closes you come back to clean again. Any questions your team leader will help you out. I thank the manager and get to know my team mates. Most of them are old woman but there very kind that makes my day at work a little comfortable.

I miss my kids so much by the time l finish at the club it's past 1am. I rush ho e to rest l woke up at 7am bath and go collect the kids. They seem happy at mamoyo house. I take them home bath them and cook for them my next shift starts at 4pm so l play with them and watch TV till later l take them back.

My life is like that for two months l am happy l can buy food for me and the kids. Ben has blocked me in all social platforms. I went to his mothers house l found him and his new wife there, it hurts so much. I thought l was healing but seeing them so happy really hurt me so much more. That day l spent the whole day at work cleaning everywhere. The next morning came and asked me to move out of his house l tried to explain that l had nowhere to go at the moment but he threw me out anywhere.

I cried and begged, l have kids where can l go at such a Short notice give me at least a week, he refused the wife and friend threw out my things and that of my kids my neighbors tried to beg him for e but he refused calling me a whore at the end one of my neighbors said to me pull yourself together.

She helped me to pick to pick up my stuff and she put it in her house she lived three houses from mine other ladies also started to to help. I felt like l was losing my mind how. Did it come to this, what did l do wro g to this man man to hurt me so much, l kept asking myself that question l thought l was speaking in my head but l was not because the lady who took me I heard me she said to me you did nothing wrong sweetheart he is just an asshole.

She invited me inside her house their was a man sitting on the wheelchair he was smoking on the other hand he was carrying a glass of whiskey. He looked at so cold that one look at him l felt like l have wronged him somehow.

I am Claire by the way the lady said l am Deborah but you can call me Dee. Nice to meet Dee have a sit please. As l sit down l felt a cold stare at me and l looked back and the cold man was looking at me like l owed him a life. Claire saw where my eyes where at and said ohh that's is my cousin Rider he lives in Capetown he just moved here few months. Helo l said and he just looked at me and drank his whiskey another man showed up and pushed him to another side of the house. So what was that all about asked Claire. I told her everything that lead to me being thrown out of the place l have called my home for 8 years.