Finding Love,
Love is inevitably difficult to find. Or do some or most believe It is mean't to be found? Or happen to have the two individuals come together at the moment of unity to then find one another? Many beliefs on one and the other, but this is coming from a 20 year old man who has found It and ceased to seal It shut with his individual he plans on marrying on a day where he feels ready to take on life with that individual forever.
"Loving someone shouldn't be that difficult", "Loving someone shouldn't be that easy". Most common phrases that I have yet to solve to this day, even with the one man I love to death. For love, say a man/woman has found It. Is love difficult or easy to achieve? To maintain on a daily basis? I don't believe It's any of the two. Love shouldn't be easy or difficult. Not even in the middle, meaning the classification of love in those two areas of the spectrum should cease to not exist. Every couple goes through their own process of how they love each other. Modern love today in this society filled with technology and a new rise in generation of people has changed significantly. People all across the world especially the United States have view points on everything, most have different opinions, some can't grasp or believe opinions exist, some play the conformity game and let their opinions become small because of what others think and just chose to side with the majority. There is one thing we all have in common with each other, Love is still achievable and alive. Yet, technology has taken away some of the virtues of loving someone. Now, I have met the love of my life on Tinder. I grasped the first thing I saw which was his beautfiul smile and how happy of a man he was, looking in the distance, in a brick background, wearing full denim and I thought to myself that he was the most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life, so I decided to shoot my shot and the notification showed across the screen "You have a match!". Deeming how society is finding love across the reality platform and technological platform, we all look for looks first thing, as If It was an instinct for humans, as we come across someone you find attractive of your own type. To someone that may sound poor, the fact we judge on the beauty of the outside of someone initially before even meeting them or having the urge to build up confidence to talk to them in the first place because of the butterflies and anxiety in your head telling you "Don't do It". At least that was myself in this situation. Building up the courage to talk to the man that I now love, and looking back at what my life wouldv'e been like If I didn't push through those thoughts of never being able to find love and never have success in It If I didn't go about commenting "Hey Chance, I see that you say you're an average boy, but I would like to talk about how your an "average boy" and so I can prove why you're not". From then on out, my life had changed for the much better.
Before I go on about my love life, rewinding back to what was said earlier about the anxiety and butterflies, the analogy I want to make is that Love is a enormous risk. Not only the risk of being rejected initially or worried you'll never find love yourself, but in the relationship Itself. No two ties of people are perfect compatibility. No one ever thinks the same, likes all of the same things, believes the same things as someone, and even If you find someone who is rare enough to have those same values and morals as you, It still wouldn't be so perfect as everyone wants to depict love before finding It at all. Risk is essential for maintaing a strong relationship. If you love that individual, you tell them, no hesitations or having the intrusive thought on If It's "too early", who cares, honestly who is there to judge? It is your own life to live and their own and 9 times out of 10 they probably wanted to say the same three word phrase to you but they were waiting as well. None of you are fullfilled, nothing is accomplished, and the first step of being open with each other doesn't open up to the many other possible connections you two will have later down the road. Personally, no I wasn't the one who said "I love you" first. Ironically enough, I was too in that stage of pure anxiousness and butterflies in my stomach, but when the words were said on March 12, 2021, It was as If a weight was lifted off my whole body. Everything felt easy If I may say because soon enough the next day, March 13, 2021, I had proposed as for my the man I love to be my beloved boyfriend. A few blushes in between the both of us, he said "Yes, absolutely". The risk we both took out of each other is what made us into the people we never would've thought to be and has changed our lives for the absolute better.
After 10 months and 10 days with the love of my life, a few things I have noticed where things we really hard on the both of us. Around the middle of our time being together, is where the arguments began to happen. The knowledge of knowing what that was, It was us coming together and seeing who we really were as a person and not just a lover. No worries for those just starting out, this is a stage where a lot of people settle in and find comfort in people, so all of the nasty jitters are out and they can find a moment where they talk about the serious topics in the life they're hoping to share with each other. Not family, living together, getting married, but their morals and beliefs and how they act and how they do the process called life with themselves and you. Obviously, people have mixed or different feelings than others in a specific time of their relationships, which is why communication comes into play. I can't tell you how rewarding It is to communicate through a conflict together and even communicate your feelings with each other before an arguement even happens to ensure safety and security of what you each feel the need to feel or desire in a time where not just communication comes into play, but also empathy and sympathizing where your partner is coming from. Shying away from the subject until later will end up being forgotten about and never settled or only settled where you both are at peace and don't seem that the conversation isn't necessary anymore, until another instance happens and the cycle is continued and never stopped because of the prideful need to walk away from It and never fight for each other at the end of the day which is what loving each other is all what It's really about. Letting each other know where the other one is, is not a sign of "having or needing" to do that gesture, but for them to feel safe, and secure knowing their partner is well. Also having the time to talk or calmly conversate on what's bothering the person and having the other one fully pay attention vice versa is really seeing each other and coming together as a team. Not a whole lot of people understand what all of communication does for their relationship goes a long way when they handle even more difficult areas of their lives down the road as they grow old together and share lives between themselves.
Though love isn't meant for each couple, It doesn't mean they shouldn't stop fighting for what they have for each other. Break ups and divorces happen way too often from what I have seen in many relationships across all of social media and even my close friends at home. Not pointing out anyone because that disrupts their privacy, but the reasons I have seen or heard seem to cross my mind as as concern, not fully understanding on why which means I think mistakes were made that could've been a fix. Infedility (the act of cheating on one another), abuse, substance abuse, domestic violence, abandonment, all of those things are not an act of love and I stand by how people will end things upon those reasons. Reasons I have a hard time thinking on how and why, are when people "Lose feelings for each other", people "Just don't love them anymore", "I just want to focus on myself, It's not your fault", all of those phrases I can't seem to grasp. First, when you put your love to someone and commit until the end, practically signing an oath with them, you both fight hard for love you create everyday with each other. Breaking up or divorce usually comes from one side or both sides saying to themselves along the lines of giving up love they have had for each other since the time they've been together. Throwing everything away for one thing or many things that are imperfect about their relationship. There is like a sense of no security, no comfortability, a lost of trust, absolutely no communication, no seeing eye to eye with each other, no couples therapy, no fighting for love that they once had and they seem to give up in the end. It hurts each other, the sense of not having this one person you absolutely love and to think you'd be with them through thick and thin, in sickness and health, and until death to them apart. Breaking up serves as a sign of loss that you'll never get back again. All of the memories you created with that person will forever become a memory and only be a memory that you can never re-live again. Fighting for love is so important, especially when It gets boring or a routine with them. Make It clear with them on what you want in this relationship, make It exciting everyday, go out of your comfort zone, and let them be apart of things you want them to be a part of. Before pulling It off, think about what you shared with that person and be the person to talk about It with them instead of leaving them with out knowledge of why you did It.
Love should be fought for, love should be cherished, love should be commitment, communication, trust, loyalty, passionate, sexually out of this world, sharing connections, lust, respect, and many other things most people miss. Love is being able to find that one person at the end of the day, each and every single day and only them. For that reason you may never know how much you or them have left, so make It count. Make your life with them and their life with yours count. It will be a journey of emotional rollar coasters, sunshines and daisies, sticks and stones, but at the end of the day, you both are a team, fighting through the world and everything else together, coming back together for peace, because you both love each other and you both think that loving each other is the best thing that has ever happened to your own lives. Love that person until the very end, let them win, send your love to them everyday, compliment them, do something nice for them, give them a random hug, random kiss, smile at them, laugh with them, talk with them through thick and thin times, help them with theirs and allow them to help with yours, respect their whole self, find joy with them, have silly fights with them, share everything together, repsect each others boundaries, and most importantly, love them for who they are and take nothing back and never regret anytime with them. Even when you love someone so much, you can't make them see how you love them, but It only means you can create depictions and many ways of what that may look like in your eyes and have them truly see what you see in them with the amount of love you have for them, and how much you want them to be in your life forever and always. If he/she is that person you love and want for the rest of your life, you go after them and give It your all, lay all of your eggs in one basket, because that's the risk your willing to take. That is what finding love is, that is why love is never lost for anyone, and let me tell you, finding love is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
-Jeffrey Thompson
January 22, 2022
Love is inevitably difficult to find. Or do some or most believe It is mean't to be found? Or happen to have the two individuals come together at the moment of unity to then find one another? Many beliefs on one and the other, but this is coming from a 20 year old man who has found It and ceased to seal It shut with his individual he plans on marrying on a day where he feels ready to take on life with that individual forever.
"Loving someone shouldn't be that difficult", "Loving someone shouldn't be that easy". Most common phrases that I have yet to solve to this day, even with the one man I love to death. For love, say a man/woman has found It. Is love difficult or easy to achieve? To maintain on a daily basis? I don't believe It's any of the two. Love shouldn't be easy or difficult. Not even in the middle, meaning the classification of love in those two areas of the spectrum should cease to not exist. Every couple goes through their own process of how they love each other. Modern love today in this society filled with technology and a new rise in generation of people has changed significantly. People all across the world especially the United States have view points on everything, most have different opinions, some can't grasp or believe opinions exist, some play the conformity game and let their opinions become small because of what others think and just chose to side with the majority. There is one thing we all have in common with each other, Love is still achievable and alive. Yet, technology has taken away some of the virtues of loving someone. Now, I have met the love of my life on Tinder. I grasped the first thing I saw which was his beautfiul smile and how happy of a man he was, looking in the distance, in a brick background, wearing full denim and I thought to myself that he was the most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life, so I decided to shoot my shot and the notification showed across the screen "You have a match!". Deeming how society is finding love across the reality platform and technological platform, we all look for looks first thing, as If It was an instinct for humans, as we come across someone you find attractive of your own type. To someone that may sound poor, the fact we judge on the beauty of the outside of someone initially before even meeting them or having the urge to build up confidence to talk to them in the first place because of the butterflies and anxiety in your head telling you "Don't do It". At least that was myself in this situation. Building up the courage to talk to the man that I now love, and looking back at what my life wouldv'e been like If I didn't push through those thoughts of never being able to find love and never have success in It If I didn't go about commenting "Hey Chance, I see that you say you're an average boy, but I would like to talk about how your an "average boy" and so I can prove why you're not". From then on out, my life had changed for the much better.
Before I go on about my love life, rewinding back to what was said earlier about the anxiety and butterflies, the analogy I want to make is that Love is a enormous risk. Not only the risk of being rejected initially or worried you'll never find love yourself, but in the relationship Itself. No two ties of people are perfect compatibility. No one ever thinks the same, likes all of the same things, believes the same things as someone, and even If you find someone who is rare enough to have those same values and morals as you, It still wouldn't be so perfect as everyone wants to depict love before finding It at all. Risk is essential for maintaing a strong relationship. If you love that individual, you tell them, no hesitations or having the intrusive thought on If It's "too early", who cares, honestly who is there to judge? It is your own life to live and their own and 9 times out of 10 they probably wanted to say the same three word phrase to you but they were waiting as well. None of you are fullfilled, nothing is accomplished, and the first step of being open with each other doesn't open up to the many other possible connections you two will have later down the road. Personally, no I wasn't the one who said "I love you" first. Ironically enough, I was too in that stage of pure anxiousness and butterflies in my stomach, but when the words were said on March 12, 2021, It was as If a weight was lifted off my whole body. Everything felt easy If I may say because soon enough the next day, March 13, 2021, I had proposed as for my the man I love to be my beloved boyfriend. A few blushes in between the both of us, he said "Yes, absolutely". The risk we both took out of each other is what made us into the people we never would've thought to be and has changed our lives for the absolute better.
After 10 months and 10 days with the love of my life, a few things I have noticed where things we really hard on the both of us. Around the middle of our time being together, is where the arguments began to happen. The knowledge of knowing what that was, It was us coming together and seeing who we really were as a person and not just a lover. No worries for those just starting out, this is a stage where a lot of people settle in and find comfort in people, so all of the nasty jitters are out and they can find a moment where they talk about the serious topics in the life they're hoping to share with each other. Not family, living together, getting married, but their morals and beliefs and how they act and how they do the process called life with themselves and you. Obviously, people have mixed or different feelings than others in a specific time of their relationships, which is why communication comes into play. I can't tell you how rewarding It is to communicate through a conflict together and even communicate your feelings with each other before an arguement even happens to ensure safety and security of what you each feel the need to feel or desire in a time where not just communication comes into play, but also empathy and sympathizing where your partner is coming from. Shying away from the subject until later will end up being forgotten about and never settled or only settled where you both are at peace and don't seem that the conversation isn't necessary anymore, until another instance happens and the cycle is continued and never stopped because of the prideful need to walk away from It and never fight for each other at the end of the day which is what loving each other is all what It's really about. Letting each other know where the other one is, is not a sign of "having or needing" to do that gesture, but for them to feel safe, and secure knowing their partner is well. Also having the time to talk or calmly conversate on what's bothering the person and having the other one fully pay attention vice versa is really seeing each other and coming together as a team. Not a whole lot of people understand what all of communication does for their relationship goes a long way when they handle even more difficult areas of their lives down the road as they grow old together and share lives between themselves.
Though love isn't meant for each couple, It doesn't mean they shouldn't stop fighting for what they have for each other. Break ups and divorces happen way too often from what I have seen in many relationships across all of social media and even my close friends at home. Not pointing out anyone because that disrupts their privacy, but the reasons I have seen or heard seem to cross my mind as as concern, not fully understanding on why which means I think mistakes were made that could've been a fix. Infedility (the act of cheating on one another), abuse, substance abuse, domestic violence, abandonment, all of those things are not an act of love and I stand by how people will end things upon those reasons. Reasons I have a hard time thinking on how and why, are when people "Lose feelings for each other", people "Just don't love them anymore", "I just want to focus on myself, It's not your fault", all of those phrases I can't seem to grasp. First, when you put your love to someone and commit until the end, practically signing an oath with them, you both fight hard for love you create everyday with each other. Breaking up or divorce usually comes from one side or both sides saying to themselves along the lines of giving up love they have had for each other since the time they've been together. Throwing everything away for one thing or many things that are imperfect about their relationship. There is like a sense of no security, no comfortability, a lost of trust, absolutely no communication, no seeing eye to eye with each other, no couples therapy, no fighting for love that they once had and they seem to give up in the end. It hurts each other, the sense of not having this one person you absolutely love and to think you'd be with them through thick and thin, in sickness and health, and until death to them apart. Breaking up serves as a sign of loss that you'll never get back again. All of the memories you created with that person will forever become a memory and only be a memory that you can never re-live again. Fighting for love is so important, especially when It gets boring or a routine with them. Make It clear with them on what you want in this relationship, make It exciting everyday, go out of your comfort zone, and let them be apart of things you want them to be a part of. Before pulling It off, think about what you shared with that person and be the person to talk about It with them instead of leaving them with out knowledge of why you did It.
Love should be fought for, love should be cherished, love should be commitment, communication, trust, loyalty, passionate, sexually out of this world, sharing connections, lust, respect, and many other things most people miss. Love is being able to find that one person at the end of the day, each and every single day and only them. For that reason you may never know how much you or them have left, so make It count. Make your life with them and their life with yours count. It will be a journey of emotional rollar coasters, sunshines and daisies, sticks and stones, but at the end of the day, you both are a team, fighting through the world and everything else together, coming back together for peace, because you both love each other and you both think that loving each other is the best thing that has ever happened to your own lives. Love that person until the very end, let them win, send your love to them everyday, compliment them, do something nice for them, give them a random hug, random kiss, smile at them, laugh with them, talk with them through thick and thin times, help them with theirs and allow them to help with yours, respect their whole self, find joy with them, have silly fights with them, share everything together, repsect each others boundaries, and most importantly, love them for who they are and take nothing back and never regret anytime with them. Even when you love someone so much, you can't make them see how you love them, but It only means you can create depictions and many ways of what that may look like in your eyes and have them truly see what you see in them with the amount of love you have for them, and how much you want them to be in your life forever and always. If he/she is that person you love and want for the rest of your life, you go after them and give It your all, lay all of your eggs in one basket, because that's the risk your willing to take. That is what finding love is, that is why love is never lost for anyone, and let me tell you, finding love is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
-Jeffrey Thompson
January 22, 2022
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