Trudy jumped up and kneaded her paws on my stomach. I scratched her gently, rubbing her cheek and whiskers with my nails. My drapes opened slowly and bathed me in sunlight. The sound of sizzling bacon and eggs wafted over to me as the sound of pellets sprinkling the cat bowl caused Trudy to jump off me. I got up and walked over to my kitchen AB, putting the finishing touches on my breakfast, making sure to stay out of its way. We said good morning. I brought the breakfast tray over to my table and turned on my eye-screen and sat down to check the news. The words were morphed and circular, and I couldn't read them. It was uncanny, and I started to realize I was dreaming and everything started fading out.
I awoke on my bed, feeling fully rested and I checked to see the time. I realized I had no idea what time it was or if it mattered. I saw two alerts. One from *** and one from Brett. ***'s said to message him when I was up, he had some fun things to show me. Brett's said he had an idea of who I should talk to about my pain shocks. I didn't want to deal with the pain at the moment so I started to respond to ***. I sent *** a message asking him about what he wants to show me. An invite popped up in my UI shortly after and I accepted.
My body was gone, and there were a torrent of thoughts that weren't my own. Thoughts raced and betted, compression redundancy, mental massage, data streams, and somewhere in between all of that was my own confusion. Newcomer, New Node, body addict, showing her around, nothing to worry about, everyone shares thoughts here. She's stressed, she's freaking out, she's not ready, just slow down, boot her, yeah boot her, wait a second, she's ruining the vibe, don't cry, boot her. Come back later, don't bother, see ya, voting you out, always hard at first.
I was back in my apartment and suddenly rooted back in my body. I wasn't sure how to process what just happened, but I understood it to a vague degree. I messaged *** and asked him what the hell that was. He responded with: shared thought room, pretty chaotic at first but it can be fun. I invited him to my home to chat.
*** Wow, a preset living space. Haven't seen one of these in a while.
Crits You could have warned me about that. It was like a stream chat that you could absorb every thought of.
*** Hard to warn someone. You just gotta see for yourself what it's like. I wanted to see if it was something you would go for.
Crits It wasn't very welcoming…
*** Yeah, there's some jerks out there, but I promise you there are good people too.
Crits I probably won't try that again for a while.
*** That's fine, once you get more comfortable you'll be willing to branch out.
Crits Maybe…It's just overwhelming, and I'm not used to anything here.
*** There are a lot of places that are trial by fire. You know, I wasn't always adventurous. Back outside of Ever-life I spent most of my time head down at a desk in my office, working 80 hour weeks working with our Physics AI to create new discoveries. I've since let go of those aspirations in Ever-life and like to spend my time truly living. You know, I've got an idea for something else you'll find more palatable.
Crits Oh yeah, going to tell me what it is this time?
*** Nope.
I cautiously accepted the invite.
In a moment, I was perched in a tree. Looking far distances with muted color but transfixed by the leaves rustling in the wind. I scratched behind my ear with my leg, and then I looked over to see a large cat looking at me.
I leapt over to the large branch he was on, felt it bend to my weight but I was confident in my footing. I tilted my head, moved up to smell him. He smelled so new, so interesting, I felt like I suddenly knew who it was. He rubbed up against me, the scent becoming even more powerful. He was a friend.
He took off, leaping to another tree and launching, bounding to one branch after another. I took after him - sure of my jumps - feeling free. He stopped, looked back at me. I needed to stretch. I pulled my claws down the wide part of the tree as claws found resistance, and there was nothing else I wanted at that moment. Then I saw my friend looking down, and I followed his line of sight with mine.
There was a doe eating some of the grass, but its ears were pointing back. My friend arched his back, wiggled his butt, and pounced down - knocking the doe on its side. The doe scrambled to find footing to retreat. It didn't stand a chance. My friend had already grabbed its rear with his claws, knocking the doe over - the doe kicking at his face. He climbed up the doe's body, getting kicked and hit by flailings. He grabbed its neck with his mouth and found purchase with his teeth. A yank backwards and the doe stopped struggling.
I went down to get some of the fresh meat. My friend looked at me, and I smelled a signal to go away. The other began biting into the doe's side, eyeing me. I lurched up, and he swiped at me. He was muscular and poised, my timid gait enforced the dynamic between us...I needed to find my own kill. I sulked a bit, and retreated up the nearest tree.
*** Hey, fun right? Never felt anything like that before in VR I bet. It's a tailored experience called a morph.
I came to, realizing I wasn't this body. My limbs felt too short. My movement was fast and unfamiliar. Colors and shapes looked warped. I started to breathe heavily, and I grabbed at my face but I only scratched it. I opened my mouth to speak but only yowled a self-alienating sound.
*** Crits, just breathe. It's fine, it's not forever. You'll be you again, so just hold on a second.
The session ended.
I was back at my apartment. *** was there. I looked down and saw my hands again. Color was vibrant, posture upright, and I breathed more slowly.
Crits What the hell? Why did it feel so wrong? I felt like I was just me at first, a big cat, but then when you spoke to me nothing seemed right.
*** You okay? You did good for a first timer. Some people are still trying to run on all fours after they come back. It gets easier to morph after the first time.
Crits I liked it, but then it suddenly became terrifying. I couldn't recognize myself. Everything was fine… I got so scared when nothing worked like how I thought it should.
*** That's your somatosensory network growing, but your normal body occupies that space right now. You can change though and get a tolerance to many different types of physical bodies. Or get it put back the way it was.
Crits How is yours then?
*** I'm a full hybrid, but I don't need a body anymore. I just turn off the body experience most of the time outside of morphs.
Crits So why can't I just have a new body mapped out in the network to change?
*** It has to deal w/ the failed Involutes - you know how your entire body got mapped before you started this?
Crits Yeah?
*** I don't fully get it, but the network needs to grow slowly to interact with one another. It can be jarring at first. You can change to whatever you like, or whatever has been made in Utopia at least, but as it stands it's a process that's not slow, but it does take time to hybridize.
Crits Why can't they just do it while I'm not in any morphs? A side, or background process, or something.
*** That would be good, but I don't think it works that way. I've wondered why I can't just turn my body off and let it run - I've been told it needs the feedback loop active with your native body to work.
Crits Seems like a total pain to go through so much just for one morph.
*** You can get used to dysmorphia. It's just hard at first when you're new. You've got all the time in the world to grow with different morphs.
Crits There's so much that's unfamiliar. Is there anything easy to do?
*** Of course, but I guess I am bored of some of those. I wanted to show you interesting things that we could never do while being just a normal person.
Crits I appreciate that - I just need more time to settle in is all I think. All of this is a bit overwhelming.
*** Oh, you can take some drugs to help with that.
Crits Like what?
*** Try out sedatives, in low amounts, they'll help you relax. You can't get physically addicted which is nice, but mental addiction is real.
Crits Of course there's a drawback.
*** It's mostly inconsequential. You can go from high to sober in an instant.
Crits Seems like a recipe for disaster…Taking drugs, turning into animals, talking to 100s of people at once.
*** Sounds like a good time to me. Keep in mind, you have all the time in the world. Time is dilated here. If you care about interacting with the people outside or not you can go back to real time. And if the world will end in catastrophic failure, we'll be fine - Ever-life networks can be launched into and exist in space so long as the stars still burn.
Crits Wow…I don't know why I hadn't heard about all that. Living forever sounds daunting.
*** You'll get used to it. Just wrap your head around the idea that this existence is for near eternity. Who knows what else we'll make in time.
Crits Fuck it then. Let's get high and turn into animals for a while.
*** Now you're speaking my language.