About twenty minutes in, Brenda (there's always a Brenda) decides to snoop in the attic. She comes back down holding the most cursed-looking book I've ever seen - leather-bound, covered in dust, got a big red symbol on the front that looks like it screams in Latin.
I tell her, "Put that back where you found it, Brenda. That's not a book - that's an eviction notice from life."
But does she listen?
No. She opens it. Starts reading aloud. In Latin.
I say, "If you read one more syllable, I'm calling an Uber… from the afterlife."
Suddenly, the fireplace roars to life, all the lights go out, and the room drops 30 degrees. One of the windows shatters from the inside.
Brenda goes, "Oops."
Oops?
OOPS?!
Girl, you just summoned a demon from hell's group chat and you gave it our address!
That's when I realize - this ain't a movie anymore.
This is a life decision moment.