1984
I was ten years old when I met my father for the first time. All that time I had been told that I had no father but that did not bother me as my grandfather was there and taking care of us. Sadly my grandfather is no longer around, not that he is dead or something like that. We were uprooted from our family house. One day we were forced to pack and leave everything we owned behind. If I were to tell you what the object of our affliction was, you will probably laugh at me and the conflict itself as being preposterous. Well men can be silly at times if not most of the time.
We had a female dog and our neighbour had a male dog. Well the female dog belonged to my grandfather. She woke up bulged one day and this new condition of hers attracted the attention of male dogs. Dogs of different breeds and sizes. In one day I watched her coupled to different dogs, one at a time and pulling in different directions. I think it happened over a period of a week and during that time I saw my neighbour's dog coupled to our dog. I think it happened more than three times. During the second time when it happened, I realised that I was not the only one watching. My neighbour was watching as well. After a week the dog party ended, the bulge was gone and our dog became normal again, so I thought. Then the dog began bulging around its belly and developing big round tits. A few weeks later it littered puppies. When I woke up there were six puppies in our yard. Beautiful puppies. There was one that looked like my neighbour's dog.
News spread like wild fire that we were having puppies . My neighbour came two days later. When he saw a puppy that looked like his dog, he proposed to buy it from my grandfather. One rand was the purchase price. Our neighbour took the puppy and left. Three days later he came back to tell us that the puppy was dead. We were surprised because the puppy was alright when he took it and the ones left behind were growing just fine. He then proceeded to demand a refund from my grandfather. My grandfather refused to give him his money. Our neighbour came back the following day to demand his money back. My grandmother found them at each others throats. They basically fighting and she told my grandfather to give him the money. My grandfather demanded his live puppy back. Since our neighbour was unable to bring the puppy back from the land of the dead, he left but before he left, he left us a strange message. He swore that he was going to teach us a lesson. That afternoon, a wind came from nowhere and blew the roof of our house away. The following morning there was a lightning that torched the remainder of the thatched house. Unable to defend ourselves, our grandparents took a decision to pack and leave. Our neighbour was standing there and laughing when we left. It was as if we were taking a vacation, a permanent one. So we moved from limpopo to gauteng to start our lives anew.
One day when I was playing football , I was called by my mothers friend and upon my arrival , I found this ' tall guy' seated next to my mother. My mother's friend told me that the man was my father.
He woke up in the morning; he went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk. Sometimes he came back with a newspaper. He punted horses and after reading the paper, he would solve the cross word puzzle. After solving the puzzle he would glue it to the post card and sent it away. He said that it was a competition and that one day he was going to win.
He woke up in the morning; he went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with milk and bread. He solved the cross word puzzle and cleans his sneakers.
One day while reading his newspaper, he saw an ad. The ad promised to make the reader rich. All that the reader needed to do was to post two rand to Durban 2000 with their name and return address. Since he was always looking for opportunities, he sent his two rand to Durban 2000 with his name and return address.
He woke up in the morning and went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk. He solved his cross word puzzle. A month passed and in the middle of the second month since he posted to Durban 2000, he received a reply. It was an envelope with an Indian coin inside and instructions on how to be rich.
He went to the shop to purchase a can fruit bottle. I saw him filling it with water and putting the coin inside. He woke up in the morning and found ten rand next to the bottle. He changed the water and put the coin back into the can fruit bottle. He left and went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk and two chicken corpses. He read his newspaper as usual. He solved the cross word puzzle while cooking the chicken. Only one chicken was cooked. We had a feast that night. Before we went to sleep, he changed the water in the can fruit bottle and put the coin back in. He then put the chicken next to the bottle and we went to sleep.
We woke up in the morning, the chicken was gone, and there was twenty rand next to the bottle. My father changed the water in the bottle and put the coin back in. He left and
went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk and two chicken corpses. He cooked one chicken, read his newspaper, and solved the cross word puzzle. We had a special feast again.
My father is telling me a story about his friend called Lucas Maringa. They both worked for the same mining company sometimes ago. He says that Lucas Maringa was a tall dark skinned man from the shangaan tribe of the Limpopo province, way up in the Limpopo province. He was well read, had a good command of the English language, a good communicator and an excellent listener. My father says that it was because of those traits that people loved and respected him. He knew his job well and was regarded as a rising star. He was a humble man, my father told me. In the three years that they worked together, Lucas was promoted twice vertically up. Everybody was giving him rave reviews, he never took alcohol, le loved playing a game of cards alone and reading. My father says that because of the praises he was receiving; he attracted lots of enemies 'invincible enemies'. 'Invincible because they never made themselves known to him. They took a decision to kill him. They went to his house while he was at work and poisoned everything in his refrigerator. When he came back from work in the evening, he ate the food he left in the refrigerator and went to bed.
Lucas Maringa did not go to work the following day and the day after. We went to check up on him after the third day. We had to break the door since he was not opening. We found him lying on his back. He was dead. His body was cold and his face was swollen. We called the police. The police came and confirmed that he was dead and they started to prepare to take him away.
Just as they were about to take him away; an old lady came from nowhere. She claimed to be Lucas Maringa's grandmother. She asked the police to give her time to say proper goodbyes to her grandson. The police returned the corpse to the bedroom and left her alone with him.
She stood by his side, talking to him. She was burning dry plants. There was smoke all over. She continued to talk to him. She took out a razor blade and made small cuts on her knees and hands and feet and did the same to the corpse. She lay on top of him face to face and said "Pfuka Lucas". She said it many times until Lucas sneezed. Lucas sneezed again and again and came back from the land of the dead.
She went to the kitchen to make him "lambaza". She put her strong plants in it and fed it to him. Lucas was like a little baby. He could not even move or speak. She kept feeding him lambaza and other concoctions until he started vomiting and having a runny tummy. There was shit all over the place. The police came back and they found him seated on his back alive. Because of the mess the found on the bed, they decided to take him to the hospital. He stayed there for three days and came back healthy.
I was the first to welcome him back from the hospital. The granny was nowhere to be found and Lucas never asked about her whereabouts. I decided to ask him about her. I told him that an old granny came from nowhere when he was in a deadly state. He told me that his granny died when he was about eleven years old and that he was the only surviving member of his family.
Lucas Maringa
My grandmother was a chief inspector in our community. I do not know how she got to get the title. Every year during the month of June, the community would bring their little girls to be tested to see if they were still virgins. Being a virgin was a big big thing in our community. The families of those who were still virgins ;would leave singing songs of euphoria as if they had won some tournament and the family of those who were certified not virgins anymore would leave with shame and the poor girl would be labelled as a
Little slut!
Year after year she would do the same thing. She would inspect the private parts of little girls and certify them virgins or non virgins. She did the job with aplomb and the community held her in awe. She was well respected.
One day after the festivities, she took the decision to stop doing it. She said that the she was too old to do the job and that a newer and younger inspector needed to be chosen. She said that she had seen enough!
The people complained that it was going to be impossible to replace her. They said that the reason they kept bringing their daughters to her was because she was honourable, clean, kind and knew her job and that if she was sure about her decision to quit, her actions would spell the end of virginity testing in their community. They said that they were not going to entrust their daughter's private parts to some dirty evil someone who would end up stealing their daughter's wombs.
My grandmother asked the community to respect her decision and her wishes. So the community left her and went away. When I asked her why she was quitting she told me that I was way too young to understand her reasons.
Sometimes ago, a girl called Belinda was married to a young man. She failed to conceive in the first three years of her marriage. So her in-laws took her to the local diviner. They wanted the diviner to help her conceive using herbs. After the preambles, the diviner threw the bones to the ground and her interpretation of the message conveyed by the bones was startling to everyone. The bones through the diviner revealed that Belinda did not have a womb! The bones said that when Belinda was about fourteen years old she went to the virginity chief inspector who stole her womb using magic. The bones said that her womb was used attract people to the shop of Mr Nkuna "the general dealer". The bones said that when Belinda was inspected she felt pain on her right thigh. Belinda confirmed that she did feel the pain. The diviner said that the only way for her to conceive, she needed to steal the womb of another girl. The diviner said that she knew of a person who would help her do it but it was going to cost her a lot. She told the family to go home and think things through before they made any decisions.
The following year around the month of June, the little girls of the village returned to our house and demanded to be tested. My grandmother refused, she said that she had seen enough and that she was no longer the chief inspector.
The community decided to open a case against my grandmother to the local chief. She was summoned to the chief's kraal and she took me with. The charges were simple: she was refusing to continue to be the chief inspector without a good reason. The penalty for such a crime was two cows or banishment from the village. The chief gave my grandmother an opportunity to explain her actions or face the fines.
My grandmother told the chief the reason she did not give reasons for her decisions was because she did not want to cause problems for the community and secondly she believed some people were trying to cause problems for her. She said that when she was inspecting Mrs Madi's daughter Beauty, something strange happened. She said when she touched her vagina lips to part them so that she could inspect, a rabbit popped out of her vagina. A very big rabbit. It hit the ground running and it ran towards the gate. It was spotted by my neighbour's dogs and went after it. My grandmother said that she continued to inspect Beauty and she found her a certified virgin. My grandmother said her concern was that Beauty was still a virgin even though a big rabbit popped out of her vagina and that Beauty laughed when that happened. She said that if she said that Beauty was a virgin, she would be lying since a rabbit popped out of her vagina. If she said that Beauty was not a virgin she would be lying since her testing methods proved that she was indeed a virgin. She said that the whole thing proved that she did not know what she was doing and she had to stop doing it. Beauty could accuse me of trying to put my rabbit into her vagina and since the rabbit was not mine and that I did not want to be killed by the community, she took a decision to quit. She said that she was willing to pay the fine provided the people would leave her alone. She said that she had seen enough!
"What happened to the rabbit," the chief asked?
"The rabbit was caught by my neighbours dogs and my neighbour feasted on it that night", grandmother said to the chief.
There was deafening silence in the chief's kraal.
"My chief might remember the case of Belinda whose womb was taken using magic by the so called inspector, the inspector lost her life and Mr Kuna's shop was burnt to ashes. I certainly do not want to meet her fate and since I do not have a shop, I do not want my shop to be torched. I am a poor woman who works hard with pride whenever called upon to serve but this is beyond me. Mrs Mabitsela was behind me when I conducted the inspections and I have no doubt that she will have something to say if called upon. My fear is that if she testifies to what I have just said; you are going to call Belinda and her family to come to answer and the community will end up accusing them of witchcraft or sorcery. When that happens, people end up losing their lives. I beg the chief to let the sleeping dogs be." My grandmother concluded her defence.
The chief ruled that my grandmother was within her rights to discontinue her duties as the chief virginity inspector and praised her for not putting the practice into disrepute. The chief said that the community loved my grandmother and held her in awe and that young girls coming to her house to be inspected was a testament to that love. The chief said that the people had the right to force a good leader to serve even when the leader had seen enough and that good leader my continue to lead until another good leader is found. The chief inspector must continue with her duties of inspecting virgins and must find two assistant that she can groom so that they can continue to do the job for many years to come. The chief inspector must gradually learn to take the back seat and let the assistants to do the job and that from now going forward the chief's diviner will be present whenever virgins are inspected. The community must also elect two women to be present whenever the girls are inspected so that the whole community shares the burden equally. No one will be banished today; no one will pay the fine today. The chief said that he was going to slaughter the fattest cow that day for the both parties after my grandmother had inspected them in the chiefs kraal. The chief arose and left and the people continued to praise him. The chief slaughtered two fat cows that day. We went home with a cow's thigh that day.
I was ten years old when I met my father for the first time. All that time I had been told that I had no father but that did not bother me as my grandfather was there and taking care of us. Sadly my grandfather is no longer around, not that he is dead or something like that. We were uprooted from our family house. One day we were forced to pack and leave everything we owned behind. If I were to tell you what the object of our affliction was, you will probably laugh at me and the conflict itself as being preposterous. Well men can be silly at times if not most of the time.
We had a female dog and our neighbour had a male dog. Well the female dog belonged to my grandfather. She woke up bulged one day and this new condition of hers attracted the attention of male dogs. Dogs of different breeds and sizes. In one day I watched her coupled to different dogs, one at a time and pulling in different directions. I think it happened over a period of a week and during that time I saw my neighbour's dog coupled to our dog. I think it happened more than three times. During the second time when it happened, I realised that I was not the only one watching. My neighbour was watching as well. After a week the dog party ended, the bulge was gone and our dog became normal again, so I thought. Then the dog began bulging around its belly and developing big round tits. A few weeks later it littered puppies. When I woke up there were six puppies in our yard. Beautiful puppies. There was one that looked like my neighbour's dog.
News spread like wild fire that we were having puppies . My neighbour came two days later. When he saw a puppy that looked like his dog, he proposed to buy it from my grandfather. One rand was the purchase price. Our neighbour took the puppy and left. Three days later he came back to tell us that the puppy was dead. We were surprised because the puppy was alright when he took it and the ones left behind were growing just fine. He then proceeded to demand a refund from my grandfather. My grandfather refused to give him his money. Our neighbour came back the following day to demand his money back. My grandmother found them at each others throats. They basically fighting and she told my grandfather to give him the money. My grandfather demanded his live puppy back. Since our neighbour was unable to bring the puppy back from the land of the dead, he left but before he left, he left us a strange message. He swore that he was going to teach us a lesson. That afternoon, a wind came from nowhere and blew the roof of our house away. The following morning there was a lightning that torched the remainder of the thatched house. Unable to defend ourselves, our grandparents took a decision to pack and leave. Our neighbour was standing there and laughing when we left. It was as if we were taking a vacation, a permanent one. So we moved from limpopo to gauteng to start our lives anew.
One day when I was playing football , I was called by my mothers friend and upon my arrival , I found this ' tall guy' seated next to my mother. My mother's friend told me that the man was my father.
He woke up in the morning; he went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk. Sometimes he came back with a newspaper. He punted horses and after reading the paper, he would solve the cross word puzzle. After solving the puzzle he would glue it to the post card and sent it away. He said that it was a competition and that one day he was going to win.
He woke up in the morning; he went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with milk and bread. He solved the cross word puzzle and cleans his sneakers.
One day while reading his newspaper, he saw an ad. The ad promised to make the reader rich. All that the reader needed to do was to post two rand to Durban 2000 with their name and return address. Since he was always looking for opportunities, he sent his two rand to Durban 2000 with his name and return address.
He woke up in the morning and went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk. He solved his cross word puzzle. A month passed and in the middle of the second month since he posted to Durban 2000, he received a reply. It was an envelope with an Indian coin inside and instructions on how to be rich.
He went to the shop to purchase a can fruit bottle. I saw him filling it with water and putting the coin inside. He woke up in the morning and found ten rand next to the bottle. He changed the water and put the coin back into the can fruit bottle. He left and went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk and two chicken corpses. He read his newspaper as usual. He solved the cross word puzzle while cooking the chicken. Only one chicken was cooked. We had a feast that night. Before we went to sleep, he changed the water in the can fruit bottle and put the coin back in. He then put the chicken next to the bottle and we went to sleep.
We woke up in the morning, the chicken was gone, and there was twenty rand next to the bottle. My father changed the water in the bottle and put the coin back in. He left and
went to town to seek job opportunities. He came back in the afternoon with bread and milk and two chicken corpses. He cooked one chicken, read his newspaper, and solved the cross word puzzle. We had a special feast again.
My father is telling me a story about his friend called Lucas Maringa. They both worked for the same mining company sometimes ago. He says that Lucas Maringa was a tall dark skinned man from the shangaan tribe of the Limpopo province, way up in the Limpopo province. He was well read, had a good command of the English language, a good communicator and an excellent listener. My father says that it was because of those traits that people loved and respected him. He knew his job well and was regarded as a rising star. He was a humble man, my father told me. In the three years that they worked together, Lucas was promoted twice vertically up. Everybody was giving him rave reviews, he never took alcohol, le loved playing a game of cards alone and reading. My father says that because of the praises he was receiving; he attracted lots of enemies 'invincible enemies'. 'Invincible because they never made themselves known to him. They took a decision to kill him. They went to his house while he was at work and poisoned everything in his refrigerator. When he came back from work in the evening, he ate the food he left in the refrigerator and went to bed.
Lucas Maringa did not go to work the following day and the day after. We went to check up on him after the third day. We had to break the door since he was not opening. We found him lying on his back. He was dead. His body was cold and his face was swollen. We called the police. The police came and confirmed that he was dead and they started to prepare to take him away.
Just as they were about to take him away; an old lady came from nowhere. She claimed to be Lucas Maringa's grandmother. She asked the police to give her time to say proper goodbyes to her grandson. The police returned the corpse to the bedroom and left her alone with him.
She stood by his side, talking to him. She was burning dry plants. There was smoke all over. She continued to talk to him. She took out a razor blade and made small cuts on her knees and hands and feet and did the same to the corpse. She lay on top of him face to face and said "Pfuka Lucas". She said it many times until Lucas sneezed. Lucas sneezed again and again and came back from the land of the dead.
She went to the kitchen to make him "lambaza". She put her strong plants in it and fed it to him. Lucas was like a little baby. He could not even move or speak. She kept feeding him lambaza and other concoctions until he started vomiting and having a runny tummy. There was shit all over the place. The police came back and they found him seated on his back alive. Because of the mess the found on the bed, they decided to take him to the hospital. He stayed there for three days and came back healthy.
I was the first to welcome him back from the hospital. The granny was nowhere to be found and Lucas never asked about her whereabouts. I decided to ask him about her. I told him that an old granny came from nowhere when he was in a deadly state. He told me that his granny died when he was about eleven years old and that he was the only surviving member of his family.
Lucas Maringa
My grandmother was a chief inspector in our community. I do not know how she got to get the title. Every year during the month of June, the community would bring their little girls to be tested to see if they were still virgins. Being a virgin was a big big thing in our community. The families of those who were still virgins ;would leave singing songs of euphoria as if they had won some tournament and the family of those who were certified not virgins anymore would leave with shame and the poor girl would be labelled as a
Little slut!
Year after year she would do the same thing. She would inspect the private parts of little girls and certify them virgins or non virgins. She did the job with aplomb and the community held her in awe. She was well respected.
One day after the festivities, she took the decision to stop doing it. She said that the she was too old to do the job and that a newer and younger inspector needed to be chosen. She said that she had seen enough!
The people complained that it was going to be impossible to replace her. They said that the reason they kept bringing their daughters to her was because she was honourable, clean, kind and knew her job and that if she was sure about her decision to quit, her actions would spell the end of virginity testing in their community. They said that they were not going to entrust their daughter's private parts to some dirty evil someone who would end up stealing their daughter's wombs.
My grandmother asked the community to respect her decision and her wishes. So the community left her and went away. When I asked her why she was quitting she told me that I was way too young to understand her reasons.
Sometimes ago, a girl called Belinda was married to a young man. She failed to conceive in the first three years of her marriage. So her in-laws took her to the local diviner. They wanted the diviner to help her conceive using herbs. After the preambles, the diviner threw the bones to the ground and her interpretation of the message conveyed by the bones was startling to everyone. The bones through the diviner revealed that Belinda did not have a womb! The bones said that when Belinda was about fourteen years old she went to the virginity chief inspector who stole her womb using magic. The bones said that her womb was used attract people to the shop of Mr Nkuna "the general dealer". The bones said that when Belinda was inspected she felt pain on her right thigh. Belinda confirmed that she did feel the pain. The diviner said that the only way for her to conceive, she needed to steal the womb of another girl. The diviner said that she knew of a person who would help her do it but it was going to cost her a lot. She told the family to go home and think things through before they made any decisions.
The following year around the month of June, the little girls of the village returned to our house and demanded to be tested. My grandmother refused, she said that she had seen enough and that she was no longer the chief inspector.
The community decided to open a case against my grandmother to the local chief. She was summoned to the chief's kraal and she took me with. The charges were simple: she was refusing to continue to be the chief inspector without a good reason. The penalty for such a crime was two cows or banishment from the village. The chief gave my grandmother an opportunity to explain her actions or face the fines.
My grandmother told the chief the reason she did not give reasons for her decisions was because she did not want to cause problems for the community and secondly she believed some people were trying to cause problems for her. She said that when she was inspecting Mrs Madi's daughter Beauty, something strange happened. She said when she touched her vagina lips to part them so that she could inspect, a rabbit popped out of her vagina. A very big rabbit. It hit the ground running and it ran towards the gate. It was spotted by my neighbour's dogs and went after it. My grandmother said that she continued to inspect Beauty and she found her a certified virgin. My grandmother said her concern was that Beauty was still a virgin even though a big rabbit popped out of her vagina and that Beauty laughed when that happened. She said that if she said that Beauty was a virgin, she would be lying since a rabbit popped out of her vagina. If she said that Beauty was not a virgin she would be lying since her testing methods proved that she was indeed a virgin. She said that the whole thing proved that she did not know what she was doing and she had to stop doing it. Beauty could accuse me of trying to put my rabbit into her vagina and since the rabbit was not mine and that I did not want to be killed by the community, she took a decision to quit. She said that she was willing to pay the fine provided the people would leave her alone. She said that she had seen enough!
"What happened to the rabbit," the chief asked?
"The rabbit was caught by my neighbours dogs and my neighbour feasted on it that night", grandmother said to the chief.
There was deafening silence in the chief's kraal.
"My chief might remember the case of Belinda whose womb was taken using magic by the so called inspector, the inspector lost her life and Mr Kuna's shop was burnt to ashes. I certainly do not want to meet her fate and since I do not have a shop, I do not want my shop to be torched. I am a poor woman who works hard with pride whenever called upon to serve but this is beyond me. Mrs Mabitsela was behind me when I conducted the inspections and I have no doubt that she will have something to say if called upon. My fear is that if she testifies to what I have just said; you are going to call Belinda and her family to come to answer and the community will end up accusing them of witchcraft or sorcery. When that happens, people end up losing their lives. I beg the chief to let the sleeping dogs be." My grandmother concluded her defence.
The chief ruled that my grandmother was within her rights to discontinue her duties as the chief virginity inspector and praised her for not putting the practice into disrepute. The chief said that the community loved my grandmother and held her in awe and that young girls coming to her house to be inspected was a testament to that love. The chief said that the people had the right to force a good leader to serve even when the leader had seen enough and that good leader my continue to lead until another good leader is found. The chief inspector must continue with her duties of inspecting virgins and must find two assistant that she can groom so that they can continue to do the job for many years to come. The chief inspector must gradually learn to take the back seat and let the assistants to do the job and that from now going forward the chief's diviner will be present whenever virgins are inspected. The community must also elect two women to be present whenever the girls are inspected so that the whole community shares the burden equally. No one will be banished today; no one will pay the fine today. The chief said that he was going to slaughter the fattest cow that day for the both parties after my grandmother had inspected them in the chiefs kraal. The chief arose and left and the people continued to praise him. The chief slaughtered two fat cows that day. We went home with a cow's thigh that day.
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