illustrated18

2 Stories  |  0 Followers  |  0 Following

Responses

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th2012
    The Chronology of a Broken Trust

    sonalpandey Jan 16th2018

    32Votes, average: 4 out 5
    Others | 24 Comments

    It's good, I liked it but didn't love it. I wanted more detail, metaphors, analogy. It needs more subtle foreshadowing, and tighter dialogue, nothing that requires a major re-write of any section.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th2012
    The Man and the little boy

    Ruhani Jan 22nd2018

    13Votes, average: 4 out 5
    Horror | 10 Comments

    Nothing I haven't read before. The detail and suspense need to be there to make it something different and new.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th2012
    Why

    gauravpokhrel Jan 16th2018

    9Votes, average: 4 out 5
    Drama | 4 Comments

    Quite difficult to get through due to the grammar, but the core is solid.

  • illustrated18 Mar 27th2012
    Notice Things, They Change You

    weseektheomissions Jan 16th2018

    8Votes, average: 3 out 5
    Others | 7 Comments

    I'll try to be a little more helpful than folks past. It's good, the visual and emotional detail are great, but the presentation of those ideas is holding it back. It doesn't quite flow naturally. Keep working because I love these kinds of stories.

illustrated18