Finding Love at Fourteen
By Gurdeep Rajoria
Sitting in the class, Those chilling winter days felt really long and boring. Cold making it hard to keep concentrated on the lessons. While my teacher quibble over the mathematics formulas and history of our ancestor and telling what science lies which keeps water in all three states at same time. Solid, molten and gas. Through all the crowds of peoples thoughts and echoing sounds of bright young minds. Where my mind seep through to the topic of my own curiosity. And that topic was Love.
I never knew how people know. With whom they like to fall in love with. Some say itâ€™s a feeling. Some settle for things which are almost closer to love. Some simply just go with the flow. But, still at the age of fourteen years of my life. I want to fall in love in really old fashion way. Like how writers write in old corny novels. They say a single event making your boring life worth living is when you meet your true love for the first time. All those lazy love song you heard growing up. One of them just starts to play in your mind. Butterflies in the stomach and stupid grins on the face. I want all of that. Look at me I almost sound like a girl. All sappy romantic and stuff.
But who am I kidding. I m just another guy who falls in the category of 92% of whole worldâ€™s population who die without knowing what true love means.
What love means to me you ask. Itâ€™s a total agony and feeling of helplessness and none existence to the person I loved since fifth grade. Mehak is her name. I still remember the day when she came to my school and my life.
It was after summer holidays. When I was talking to my friends about the fun I had in â€śManaliâ€ť trip with my family. And she walked in her sky blue skirts and white AC/DC t-shirt. Now that I think about it I never even heard of this music band name AC/DC of late 80â€™s until I have seen her wearing that t-shirt. And oh man!! She looked beautiful with her two pig tails and brightly shining black eyes. Ever since then I have seen her grow more beautiful by days. Itâ€™s been three years I never even talked to her. Beside school stuff.
Some time I feel that am I the only one who thinks like this. Everyone else looked pretty happy to me.
I have seen my friends. They fall in and out of love very fast and deeply. I was always amazed to see the peoples doing that. May be they all are greater people than me. That, they have a high style of living. They can just get over their ex- and just start new relationship with someone new. Which also last according to their fancies. Well I think its not all that bad. Again peeking a Look at Mehakâ€™s face through thin shoulders of my friend.
When, my friend pluck me on my forehead with his finger. Thatâ€™s how my train of thought comes to an end. Pain causes me to yell at once.
What the hell manâ€¦it hurt!!
Next thing I know. The whole class was looking at me. When teacher was about to say something to me. The period bell rang. And as always, our teacher was much in hurry to leave the class then us.
Puneet, looked at me with a look in his eyes. Itâ€™s a look I understand very well.
Its says â€śyou are so patheticâ€ť. Guess I am being a little pathetic. Puneet being my best friend knows of the crush that I have on Mehak since fifth grade. Puneet as usual starts his sermon about moving on or finally telling her my feelings. And as always I pretend to listen to him. When actually I am not.
This time Puneet is talking about someone other than Mehak though.
Thatâ€™s right, he is talking about the two river of our schools.
Itâ€™s a known fact that the two hottest girls in whole school are in our class. And boys refer to them as â€śtwo riversâ€ť. The one was Mehak and other one was Priyanka. They were actually best friends. But even though they were both drop dead gorgeous. Still there was a big difference in their behavior. Where Mehak was a jolly and talkative person. Priyanka was bit gloomy and distant. I hardly saw her talking to anyone else other than Mehak.
To tell you the truth. Priyanka lives in my neighborhood. We known each other since we were babies. But I hardly know anything about her now. I donâ€™t even remember when was last time we talked. She is really cute though. But, I was never able to see Priyanka that way. Must be something wrong with me. Puneet had a big crush on Priyanka. Apparently Puneet actually purposed her. And what I heard was she rejected him with plane face. Still Puneet talks about her a lot. Even though he has a girl-friend now.
Again on my train of thoughts. I was looking at Mehak again without realizing. When Puneet stopped talking and snapped his finger at me. And said
Hey you there Romeo
Would you stop. That
If you really like her that much. Why donâ€™t you go talk to her.
I was feeling irritated on this sudden challenge my friend posed on me. Why canâ€™t he just leave me alone. What so bad about just looking at her. Still to show my ego I said
I can talk to her. If I wanted to.
I just donâ€™t want to complicate my position.
I know your position bro. but if you kept looking at her. She will get a boyfriend.
And you will be crying your eyes out.
Listen to me, all this peeking looks at her is not healthy dude. You been doing same thing since fifth grade. Itâ€™s time to change or you will stay like that your whole life. And I donâ€™t want to you to be like that
Just tell her how you feel. If she accepts youâ€™re feeling all well and good. If she doesnâ€™t then you will be heartbroken and will be able to move on easily. I think you should tell her.
I will think about it. If I felt like it I will confess to her on Monday.
Listening to my words. Puneet smiled and we both took our bags and left.
Since it was weekend. I thought about visiting my uncle. He is construction engineer. He is working on some local projects. So he is staying over at our place. He is fun guy to hang around.
He spent a lot of time working. Because, He is divorced now. At least thatâ€™s what my mom tells me.
I never understood why my Uncle and Aunt got divorced. They had a love marriage. And as far I know my Uncle is a funny person. Aunt is more of caring type.
It never made sense to me. I guess this is also a kind of love. Fading love
With all these thoughts moving through my mind. While I was sipping my tea. Uncleâ€™s greetings brought me back to reality
Whatâ€™s Up Bharat
Howz school going.
Me:- its fine uncle
Then why are looking so gloomy.
What are you thinking about.
Uncle have you ever been in love?
Uncle looked at me with big eyes. Like he was surprised at my question. Then he took a deep breath and started talking
Yup, I was in love with your Aunt. Thatâ€™s why we got married just after collage.
And I loved her very much.
But now I think about it. I was rushing things. It all happened so fast.
After few years love kind of just faded with time. Your Aunt when she could not bear it any more left me.
I was stunned after listening to all the details without asking. Guess uncle wanted to talk about these feeling to someone. But no one listened. My Uncle kept on talking for an hour.
Even though I was not interested I listened to all that he has to say. It felt like that even though. He was in love with Aunty. That he had rushed to the feeling and made a lot of mistake along the time.
Which kind of made me think I should think a little more about it. Before I do anything.
So I thought about it during weekend. Finally decided to confess my feelings to her on Monday.
I was all ready and had a plan.
After first period, when second period was music. The whole class moved to the Music room. When everyone was left. I was last one to leave.
I wrote a note that I want to meet her on the roof top after half time. And signed it with my name. I put the note in her book. Which was placed on her bench.
Well I found your note on the book. It said to come on the roof top at half time and was signed.
By the way your writing is horrible. I hardly was able to read it.
Even though it was a confusing situation. Her remark about my writing made me kind of pissed at her.
I kept my tamper in check. And said
I guess it was my mistake to not mention the name of the person.
Well actually that note was meant for Mehak. Not you
She gave me a puzzle look and then said
So you are one of Mehakâ€™s Fan.
Despite it was first long conversation I had with Priyanka. But her random comment and sarcasm was getting on my nerves.
Then she started grinning. And I said:-
Well I m not her Fan like other guys.
Though I am in love with her. I know my love for her is special.
Guess the way I was talking about my love had appealed to her. She said:-
Since Mehak is my best friend. And you seem like a nice decent person.
I will help you guys get together.
I nodded in agreement without even thinking.
It was nice to have female reinforcement to advice me on my love quest. To tell you the Truth. I was worried and wanted to express my feeling best way I could.
So to discuss our love strategy we decided to talk about it next day on recess time.
When I got back. i kept thinking about Priyanka. It was first time I have seen her being so talkative. She seems really different to me for some reason. I stayed up all night.
By morning I was beating myself for kept thinking about Priyanka. When Mehak was real love of my life. When I got to the class I felt exhausted. I put my head on my bag and closed my eyes.
When a sweet voice called my name. I opened my eyes. Seemed like whole class was again looking at me.
I hear the same voice once again. I stood up and saw Priyanka was standing beside me. Then she said:-
I Said in sleepy manner while yawning:-
Then she leaned towards my right ear. Everyone was looking at us intensely. When she said we will discuss your love strategy on roof top during half time.
I nodded in agreement
And she left
The moment Priyanka. Walked away Puneet pulled me with my collars.
What the hell you sly dog.
I thought you liked Mehak. And now you are being lovey-dovey with Priyanka.
Its not like that we are just friends. That was my first response.
You just sound like those Bollywood actors. Yeah we are just friendsâ€™ clichĂ©
Whatever dude. I am happy for you. Finally you are over that one sided crush with Mehak.
I wanted to tell Puneet everything. So he will be able help me on my love endeavor. But for some reason I withhold that information. I donâ€™t know why. I just wanted the love strategy to be our thing. Mine and Priyankaâ€™s
We both met on the roof top as we promised. She suggested using the same way to purpose to Mehak. Which I have used before. After that we chat about other stuff.
Then she asked me. So, you have been in love with her for five years. Why didnâ€™t you tell her that sooner and what made me? to purpose her now.
I explained to her my reason. She smiled and laughed. When she found out how simple and straight forward I was.
Then I asked her
Why donâ€™t you have a boy friend?
I mean you are obviously very beautiful. Then how come you donâ€™t have a boyfriend.
She looked down for few seconds and said
Well Itâ€™s not like hate boys
Itâ€™s just that when some stranger purposed to me. It is obvious for me to reject them.
Because I donâ€™t know anything about them.
So how can I accept those feeling without knowing them.
Itâ€™s too bad nobody asks me to be their friend first. After I reject someone. I finally start to notice the person.
But after sometime I see that the same boy with another girl. Itâ€™s like all the purpose was meaningless.
Then I realize, what Puneet was saying that once I get my heart broken I will be able to move on.
Seemed like everyone thought that way. Thatâ€™s why Priyanka never had any boyfriend. By the time she finally starts to notice the guy.
Person have already been moved on. It felt like I have solved an untold mystery in our class. For some reason I was very much at ease while talking to Priyanka.
Priyanka was at ease too. She was smiling a lot. This was also one another side of Priyanka that I never knew she had.
Next day, I placed the note. Just like before and waited on the roof top.
This time again Priyanka showed up. Saying I again placed the note on the wrong book.
For some reason she seemed more frustrated than me.
We decided to postpone the confession. This time Priyanka suggested that she will relay my message to her and will tell her to meet you after school on roof top.
That night I felt so excited that I was not able to sleep. For some reason the only person I was thinking about was Priyanka not Mehak. It was like a panic attack. I was finally realizing my feelings.
Next day after school hours I waited at the roof top.
Mehak came before she could say something. I started talking.
Mehak I am really sorry. I know I called you up here. To be honest I was going to purpose to you. But, now my feelings have changed. You donâ€™t need to be bothered by my feelings. So Please forgive me.
Mehak smiled a little and said:-
You know you are the first person. Who called me up to confess me and have rejected me instead.
Well whatever. I was actually considering to going out with you. Because Priyanka convinced me that you are a nice guy. You were the first person she praised in front of me. So I was thinking. What kind of person you are. Now I see what she likes.
By the way if you donâ€™t like me. Then who do you like then.
I had an answer in my mind. I smiled after realizing what it was and said
Its Priyanka. I have fallen in love with her.
After saying that I was coming down the stairs. When I saw Priyanka was standing beside the doors to the stairs.
She was red and had tears in her eyes.
I was bit shocked to see her there. Did she hear me??
It was the only question on my mind. I kept standing there without saying anything.
Then she looked at me and smiled. I leap through the air and hugged her.
I saw her eyes getting big. She was shocked at my reaction.
She was so tiny and soft. Holding her in my arms was nice. It felt warming my heart at the place. I didnâ€™t know my heart had.
First she was bit surprised but, just in next second she put her tiny head on my chest and said the most sweetest and simple words
I love you tooâ€¦â€¦