The Lost Warmth
Upon the lost she waits. Quiet and alone, staring out a window through white lace curtains. A gentile warm breeze blows in from the bright world beyond, giving the curtains a brief life, dancing upon the lost. The warmth touches her lips and a fond memory flutters in her thoughts. A moment when all the world around her became the touch of his lips. The moment slips away from her, like the wind through lace curtains. She can feel an emptiness inside as the wind blows around her. It seems to take a bit of her as she stares into the comfort of the light through the curtains. A moment gone with the wind.
A knock at the door and cheery greeting muffles the sound of the breeze. Movement of plates and a strong aroma of food bombards her senses and makes her to turn her head. A smile upon a blank face is what she sees, a smile with bright white teeth forces its way into her face. Lies that tell her that she is looking great and so is the day, chatter from the bright teeth. But soon, like the breeze, it too leaves. Taking a small piece of her with it. Comforted by it absents she turns and falls into the warmth of the day. It seeps into her frail body giving life to old sensation and old feeling of lost emotions. But her heart remembers, even when her mind has crumbled into the sea of age.
She can feel his hands touching her arm. Slow and soothing his fingertips, his warmth, his love dancing across her skin. Reigniting forlorn emotions that have long faded. Giving her a spark of warmth in the coldness of his absence.
The dancing of the curtains fades into a slow waltz that peacefully stops upon the setting of the sun. The orange that pierces through the lace feeds an emotion that has yet to leave her. Upon sandy shores with salt brimmed lips, they ran. Like dancing butterflies they circled each other along the edge of the world. But as the sun faded to the hues of blue, so did the moment in the sand. And with it, another sliver of her warmth.
A faceless smile helped her into bed, where the soft blues of twilight hung in the shadows of her white room. They grew darker as her vision slowly slipped away. And just as the last bit of light stretched itself out of view, a gentile kiss from a distant memory warmed her cheek. Sending her into a fog filled dream of when she was warm with arms around her.
The warmth of the new day broke her free from a forgotten dream. And the strain of loosing it, beat softly next to her heart. The weight of the world grew as she slow regained her vision. Sitting up, she felt the emptiness burn inside. A feeling she knows all too well. Even if she has forgotten why.
She sits in her familiar spot, waiting for the morning breeze. She sits waiting for the faceless smiles to leave, she sits waiting for something that she doesn’t know is gone. Gentile as the day moves, a soft note whispers a warm notion in her ear. His voice shakes the emptiness inside, collapsing upon a moment in time when the smell of lilies and roses bloomed in her heart. When the simple word of Yes, set the world in motion, to the tune of their love. A hand placed softly upon her shoulder brushed all that was set in her mind away. She turned unknowingly to someone whose face is not blank and who’s smile that does not bring lies. Upon someone whom she does not know, but never the less brings a calmness, like the breeze through lace curtains.
Kids of a loving young couple happily bring her the excitement of movement, swirling around her with outstretch hand, begging her to join. But like everything in her life, they to fade into the stillness of the white room. A woman, bright and beautiful, holds her hands with tears in her eyes speaks softly of things unknown to her. Her voice brings an odd comfort of a deep pain from long years ago. A joyous pain that has now faded into the warmth of her hands. And as she leaves, a piece of her warmth is taken. Leaving her to shake with the setting sun.
A sliver of hair drops into her face, the faceless smile with nailless fingers gently brushes the hair from her face. The touch of her warm hand sent a scream through her heart. The sound of his voice and the touch of his hand pained her so. Tears fell from her cheek as his warmth left her. The breeze did not come as the faceless smile guided her to her bed. And when she laid down she could feel a warmth laying next to her. The curtains rustled as the warm night air entered her room and brushed across her cheek. In the softness of his touch, he spoke to her.
Don’t worry, I’m right here.
Her body shuttered as the warmth next to her gently faded into the starry night. The sadness fills the emptiness as her body cries herself to sleep. Dreams drift in and out as the night takes a tiny bit of her warmth. But the warmth wanted to go where everything was warm. Where everything felt whole. Where he is waiting. In her dreams she runs into the wind, toward the warmth of the sun. As it sets she trips and falls into black sand. It is a cold that seeps into the emptiness and leaves her numb. She screams for help. The silence closes in around her as her breath leaves her body. It constricts in around her, numbing her arms and legs. Sending her into a panic. She screams a silent scream that echoes in her heart. Awakened by deep pain that sprang forward out of the emptiness, freezing her to her bed. It was a pain that shattered her heart, born from a moment that was forcefully forgotten. The darkness moved in around her, it knows this is the moment. The moment to reclaim what was lost to them all those years ago. The sound of twisting metal and screaming tires fills the night. The last look that he gave her, a face of worry for nothing more than her safety, flashed against the darkness. The old scares that time had healed began to unfurl as the beating of her heart quickened. She screamed out once again, reaching out to him as the horrendous sounds of the car crash slipped into the quiet darkness. The night sprang forward and took the sight from her. It grabbed her with cold wet hands. She panicked and reached out to find him. Franticly she searched for him, pleading to the night to release him. The touch of his shoulder collapsed the darkness back into the cab of the car. She quickly reached down and grabbed a hold of his hand and shook it. His limp arm shook and the weight of the silence amplified as it laid in her hand motionless. The coldness creeped in as the reality shot shivers down her spine.
His warmth was all that she could feel in the darkness. It burned against the chilled air. But unlike her own warmth, his began to fade. She squeezed his hand ever so gently, trying with everything in her power to wake him. Her own warmth began to leave her, the gravity around them slowly grew. Her arm became so heavy that she couldn’t mover her hand. But she never loosened her grip around his.
Through the darkness of the night, she could see him in her mind. Sitting there, holding her hand softly, with that last look of worry upon his face. But in reality, it was too dark to see anything. The moment of goodbyes faded with her breath and deep in her heart she accepted the truth. As long as it was here and now, with the man that she holds dear and tight. With the last of her breaths she begins to relax and let the night take her into the last warmth of his faded touch.
A light cleaved its way through the darkness. Hacking and slashing its way to them. An onslaught of sensations poured over her. She gasped and coughed as if drowning from all the light and movement around her. With her vision blurry, she looked over for him. Lights filled the cab of the car, but she could only see misshaped cold shadows and unbelievably hot light. She tried to scream out his name but the only thing that she achieved was to slightly open her mouth. Much too weak, she endlessly tried to call out his name. Only to have everything shatter by the touch of his hand giving way to the empty night. Her heart cried in a silent scream as the distance between them continued to widen.
Out of the emptiness hidden deep inside, a emotion bursted forth with uncontrollable sadness and yearning for the lost warmth. She reached out to regain the moment, to regain the connection that was severed. Through the darkness she leaped out of bed toward the window. Falling through the night air, she hits the cold wooden floor with the side of her shoulder. She laid there in the cold, burdened with a dull throbbing pain, not only in her shoulder, but also from an old wound in her heart. Her warmth quickly faded as the night came through the lace curtains for her. But as she looked up at the oncoming inevitability, she could see a light through the darkness of the night out the open window. It flickered and danced its way to her. The night dashed into the corners of the room as the light entered. It flickered and moved like a butterfly make of light. She could feel the warmth that it gave off. It was soothing with a comforting hum to it. And then warm light hit her, the sadness and yearning unraveled in her heart. Because she knew it was him. The touch of his warmth was all she could remember through all these faded years, it was all she yearned for. She reached out through the years, back to the moment when all in her life was happy and whole. She reached out to reclaim the lost warmth of his hand. And with a flash of light her arm went limp and everything faded to black.
A gentle breeze entered the room through lace curtains. And as it came to the wrist of her arm. A dull orange light glowed ever so slightly. With the rhythm of a beating heart, it grew brighter and brighter. Until if engulfed the room with a pure white light. It moved out the window and before it faded into the night sky, two flickers of light could be seen dancing, like butterflies through the night.