Lawrence Tomlin got up at nine oâ€™clock in the morning. He brushed his teeth, making sure to reach behind his bottom and top layers, smiled at himself in the mirror to make sure that his teeth were not getting yellower than they already were. He left the mirror at least partly worried about the state of his teeth, made himself some eggs and hash browns and sat down to eat.
His life had not taken any surprising new turns for the past three years and it was not about to. The only things that Lawrence Tomlin worried about were whether or not he was going to get a new promotion and whether or not he was going to meet the girl he wanted to marry. Donâ€™t worry, this is not a romance and he would never meet her.
His job was in an ordinary office, on an ordinary floor of an ordinary building. Everything in Lawrenceâ€™s life was ordinary, right down to his cat Mittens. This ordinariness did not bother Lawrence in the least, he never even thought about it and so he never noticed it. He was simply a perfect product of his surroundings, a perfect picture of a bachelor living in New York. The only problem was that he was just that, a bachelor, and that he had no friends or even acquaintances.
People that Lawrence met would talk to him for a while, maybe they would meet up for lunch or some other paltry work related occasion but then that was it. They would never call him and would never respond to him and acknowledge his existence. And so, Lawrence decided that other people really didnâ€™t like him, and that because they obviously did not like him he did not like them either.
Lawrence was what would be classified as a Grinch or a Scrooge, but his animosity did not only extend to the Christmas holiday, oh no, it was year round. In addition to this he also did not have enough money to truly spread his hatred of the world, nor did he have the energy or the want to do so. So he ended up spending most of his evenings drinking beers until he fell asleep while watching funny shows that made him long for some companionship. He could not get by without these shows though they were his placebo; they were his cure and his escape.
He had told himself over and over again that he did not need friends and in fact that he did not want them. They were too much to worry about and he â€śenjoyed his solitude.â€ť But little by little his walls began closing in on him and his tv set started to glare into his unsheltered eyes until he could take it no more. He decided then and there for go out and make at least one friend, but he never left his apartment and because he knew no one it was almost impossible for this to happen. That train had long past him and there was no catching it.
In the summer of 2010 around July Lawrence received a large sum of money from a dead Uncle. This dead uncleâ€™s name was Uncle Roberts and while he was living he was one of Lawrenceâ€™s favorite uncles. He remembered the Christmases like they were yesterday and the gifts and the way his uncleâ€™s house smelled. This uncle had been a bit of an eccentric and hated his own children. So, to spite them, he gave everything he owned to their least favorite cousin, but truth be told he didnâ€™t like Lawrence as much as everybody else in the family, including Lawrenceâ€™s beloved parents. Lawrence did not know this and took the inheritance to mean that someone did care for him after all, someone he did not expect, his crazy uncle Roberts.
Before going on I feel like we should honor the dead a bit and tell Uncle Robertsâ€™ story. He grew up as the typical high school nerd, pining after girls that he would never get, studying, and having absolutely no friends. That all changed when he went to college, Roberts was a funny guy, he made lots of friends and finally got one of the impossible catches he had been trying for his whole life. He also did a lot of heroine in college, a habit which pursued him until it killed him. Anyway, his new girlfriend, her name was Christine, was everything that Roberts had wanted to get, stupid, pretty, and she put out. He lost his virginity to this girl and never looked back. Until about a week afterward when they were hanging out in his dorm and she told him that she was pregnant. They finished college and got married and raised the kid together.
That is the subsequent end of Robertsâ€™ story, and the beginning of his sonâ€™s story. His son, the first one, was a bully. He bullied his wife when he got married, bullied his siblings, bullied his children and his employees. But most of all he bullied Lawrence when he came over to visit. He called him names, sat on his chest and beat patterns into his face. It was not a pleasant time for poor little Lawrence but unfortunately no one liked him and no one wanted to help him. The adults would all look in and see him being tortured by his crazy cousin and would just leave the room and laugh about it with the other adults, possibly over a cold beer. So life was hard for Lawrence when he was younger, for it was not only his crazy freckled cousin who picked on him, it was almost all the kids at school too. Even the other bullied kids didnâ€™t like him and would either laugh at him or call him mean names. In fact he became one of the most hated things at his school, something that would bring people together if only to ostracize him from the group. Recesses for Lawrence were spent trying to avoid everyone else rather than playing.
Lawrence did not know if he was good at any sports because none of the other kids had ever asked him to play and wouldnâ€™t have let him if he had asked. So he grew up without knowing the joy of scoring a touchdown or shooting a three pointer at the buzzer, he was always alone.