The alarm bell of the railroad crossing near the station sounded incessantly at the shopping street.
It was only the beginning of the days when she started living there that Tohko felt it was noisy.
She felt like that the sound of this alarm bell was the only evidence that she was at this shopping street.
“Because I am living in such an uncertain world now, I felt so in particular.”
She told so to herself.
However, recently she came to think that it was a far-off sound as if it was heard from the upper phase of the dream. Because she sometimes felt that she was dreaming.
The sound was a signal used for letting know her to wake up in the dream.
At the upper phase, she slept while listening it by the headphones.
However, she continued losing a timing to wake up at this phase without being able to notice that it was a signal.
Such a thing was used in the movie “Inception”.
In that movie, a song of Edith Piaf was used for a signal to wake up.
âWhen will I have to dream without being able to notice a signal till?
How can I come out of this dream?
Even if the alarm bell sounded many times, and the train passed many times, I can not wake up?
I thought that I had heard the alarm bell many times since I came to this town, but I had heard only one same sound repeatedly forever?â
Tohko finished her part time job at dusk.
She worked at a small pastry shop.
She rushed into the supermarket which was located in the shopping street.
She kept the uniform of the pastry shop wearing.
Because she had worn the beret, which was a part of the uniform, all day long her hair was crushed flat.
She thought that it was ugly, but it could not be helped.
The wall of around the supermarket’s entrance was the mirror.
Whenever she passed by there and looked her own figure, she felt mysterious.
Until several years ago, she was a married wife in the rich family.
She was accustomed to the luxurious life in those days.
Her ex-relative would still continue living in luxury.
But she felt refreshed very much.
She thought, “I did not lose it, but I willingly threw it away.”
She had still owned some high-quality jewels which she had gotten in those days.
However, she did not want to wear them very much nowadays.
She kept them putting in the chest in her cheap apartment.
Even if sneak-thievery completely stole them someday, she might not notice for a while.
But if she would know it, she would feel relieved more and more.
For example, at the high-quality hotel in Nice.
Or at the prestigious restaurant in Tokyo.
She surely put on those jewels on her body.
“I sometimes remembered that I had a pleasant chat with those people while drinking an aperitif, as if the memory was a pale watercolor-painting.
There was no evidence that it was really my memory.”
After all it might also be the dream.
A delicate sound which thin glasses or accessories clinked.
She told to herself, “They might be the memory which I invented in my mind.”
A lot of candles were lit on the table.
“I could see the ocean and sunset there.
Who was the person handing a glass of cocktail to me?
I really could not remember it anymore.
But I feel like remembering the gradation of complicated rays of twilight.
That was surely my experience.”
“Just after The catastrophe, I grieved, “When and Where the world began to be out of order and I was thrown out into such a terrible world?”
But because I was living without any regret every day, my former life had lost a reality.
I was not able to recognize the difference between my dream and my bygone days.
I felt that it was not necessary to distinguish them.”
There might be not any foods which were not completely contaminated in this country.
“We could not but choose the foods with a little contamination.”
She had continued to choose the foods carefully in that way since 3 years ago.
There were a few people who chose the foods carefully, and there were many people who were not worried about the contamination of foods in this country.
It was a strange thing, but there were 2 kinds of people in this country.
Tohko belonging to the minor group finished shopping, and appeared from the supermarket.
This supermarket had sold many selected foods whose ingredients were examined closely.
And it had sold many fresh perishable foods which were locally produced.
This community-rooted supermarket was conscientious for her.
So Tohko, who belonged to the minority avoiding the contaminated foods, had used this supermarket habitually.
In addition, she used as much as possible a local greengrocery, a local meat store, and a local grocery store which were managed privately.
She prevented her from paying money to any chain stores managed by the big capital management as much as possible.
She did not have any noble ideal in particular.
It was the result that she had made an effort to survive since the huge accident.
It meant that she had no choice but to live in such a style.
However, it was the end of this summer that the business of the supermarket deteriorated, and it was merged into the major chain store.
So she evacuated with her young son from the life in the capital.
She intended to live in reality.
Thatâs her own real life!
She had thought that it was very difficult until she escaped.
However, it became to be too scary for her to go back to the capital when she got away from there once.
But this and that were dreams?
The life in the capital was a dream, but now was a dream, too?
She felt that it was useless to think such a difference nervously.
Even if my daily life was a dream, I knew that there were a lot of nuclear facilities in this country.
(I was dreaming in such a setting).
It was three years that she had been shocked from the fact that she had never thought why such nuclear facilities existed.
She was surprised that there were many things like a weapon having a possibility to contaminate the whole country horribly in the country that abandoned the war and did not own any nuclear weapons at all.
She wondered what they were.
There was it in the huge building whose wall was smooth and flat.
The great explosion happened, and the wall surface of the building was blown off by it.
Such great explosions happened many times in succession.
Tohko thought that it was an unbelievable disaster and evacuated. And she had still been evacuating.
Most of the people in the capital, where was not so far from that nuclear plants, were living without hesitation.
She read the article that the soil of the capital was contaminated severely according to the result of the investigation.
It was decided that this capital would host the big, global, peaceful festival of sports In the future.
Not only this country, but the world virtually gave an official guarantee that this capital did not have any contamination at all.
The world seemed to totally ignore the great explosion and the poison.
In fact, Tohko thought many times that there might not be any contamination.
She suspected herself that she might have misunderstood.
It became troublesome for her to think about such a thing recently.
She thought that all she had to do was live honestly every day.