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Farewell Part7

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August 22nd 2014  |  3  |  Category: Drama , Fiction , Romantic Love  |  Author:  |  1324 views

It was the memory of the peaceful time before that great disaster happened.

“If you would like to taste a feeling of getting into the groove, which the cycle of reincarnation in the never-ending story would make you feel dizzy, as if many words were falling like a waterfall, and as if many languages would mix and become chaos, you should follow more than 1000 user accounts on that SNS.”
Tohko read this article. So, she earnestly continued following a lot of user accounts on that SNS.
There was an image that many transparent, cool, and green-colored letters were running down on the black screen at the movie “Matrix”.
Nowadays, the world passed away as if the information fell down like that.
The information was born one after another. Next moment, they passed into nothingness.
They were replaced every moment as if they blinked lightly.
Tohko wondered, “In the first place, does the information exist?
Are there any information continuing to exist?”
Recently, she could recognize the reality only on the SNS, which the user could upload only the information written by less than 140 characters at one time.
The difference between the reality and the virtual was getting vaguer and vaguer.
Suddenly, that SNS appeared.
At first she heard about such a SNS from her friends whom she met on the internet.
As soon as she looked for it on the search engine of the internet, she got her own user account of it.
All at once, she got hooked on the SNS.
If she would follow too many user accounts thoughtlessly, there was the possibility that she might be mistaken for a spam account.
Therefore she selected only user accounts which seemed to love the books, so that she could excuse that she would follow them because their hobby was the same with her.
For example, she searched the name of her favorite authors on that SNS, and she followed the users referring to the name in their statement.
Still there was the possibility that she was recognized as a spam account, because she followed several hundred users per a day.
In addition, her account did not have many followers, her account was sometimes blocked by other users, and her account was not followed back by others users.
However, half of the user accounts followed her account back while not thinking so deeply.
Therefore the more she followed many accounts, the more her followers increased, too.
She would like to have the feeling of getting into the groove on her own timeline of the SNS, and she had the hope to let many people read her novel or something written by her on the internet. So she tried to make the followers of her account increase.

Tohko started in to write a novel in her latter 10s.
She had submitted her works for the competition, and had won a small prize.
In addition, her works were left in the last selection in the big competition several times.
However, she had never become a professional writer.
She was in the middle of 30s.
Thus, she continued writing novel for nearly 20 years.
Still she sometimes asked herself whether or not she longed for something like brilliant debut in the literary world.
If she would get the debut as a writer, of course she would be happy.
However, she was not satisfied if she would not be able to write anything all the time.
In addition, she was also dying to publish her works somewhere all the time.
So, uploading them on the internet was the best way for such her desire.
Even if she would not be able to publish her works on paper medium, she would be able to present them to all the people in the world without any investment.
Even if she would not get Money, position, or reputation, she could not help writing something.
She continued writing as far as somebody might read her works.
What a great amount of sentences she had uploaded on the internet until then.
Then, new social networking and microblogging service, that enabled users to send 140-character text messages, appeared.
She had continued doing a trivial work, that she searched the user account suitable for her purpose, and followed them in order to let them read her works.
She had the desire to want many people to read the works which she had written.
So she wondered that she was extremely stronger than other people at making herself known.
“If I would have exhibitionism, is it bad?”, she thought.
“And what is exhibitionism?”
She thoroughly thought about such a thing in her 10s.
But, she gradually understood that even if she want many people to read her works very much, many people would not want to read them so much.
She did not feel so in modesty and self-abasement.
There were some books sold explosively, but except a few of them, she noticed that it was only commercial strategic success.
If the writer would be worried about their talent that was all of more or less the same average ability, it would be meaningless for them, she felt.
They could not but wait for somebody to read their works as if they became the fisher man casting his fishing line in the very large ocean earnestly, when they finished writing their new novels.


However, of course there were still some novels which many people were dying to read.
Tohko thought, “For example, it is 1Q84 written by Haruki Murakami” while repeating the simple work.
She lived in the 19th floor as if she was floating in the air in those days.
A while ago, she finished giving milk to her baby, and heard her baby sleeping, breathing softly.
The building, in which Tohko was living, had 20 floors.
Its top floor was used for the penthouse.
There were seven apartments in one floor to the 19th floor in where Tohko lived, but there were three big apartments in only the top floor.
Though half a year had passed after she started living there, she did not know who lived in two among three penthouses.
An old couple bought one penthouse and lived in it with their daughter and their son-in-law.
The most of resident in this apartment was family during child care in their 30′s.
Because the members of the family living in the penthouse were only old people, they seldom had the relationship with the downstairs inhabitants.
She heard the rumor that another two penthouses were bought by somebody for investment, and nobody lived in there.
Tohko looked out over the city of Tokyo from the window at 19th floor.
It had been raining endlessly since the Japanese rainy season, which briefly appeared between spring and summer, had started.
Tohko felt like that the world had been already buried in water when she looked at the view from the window.
“Was that city, which was wriggling at the bottom of the rain like smoke, Gotham City?”
Tohko looked out of the window while having such a delusion.
Rain hung low over heavily like a thick curtain, and bowed.
At such a day, both small-time yakuza and the boss of the gangster were tend to do bad things under cover of the dusk, she imagined. Of course they did in Gotham City… no, in Tokyo city!
She heard that the model of the Gotham City was Chicago in the USA.
When Tohko thought, ” ‘that man’ should live in Chicago”, she was startled.
Recently, she strongly felt that the border line of her mind between the reality and the unreality was uncertain.
It was a young man whom she had produced in her novel.
Because she had written a very long novel about him, she felt like that he really existed in this world.
That novel had been concluded by her once.
In the story which she had concluded, he did not live in Chicago.
Though she did not write the continuance of that novel, the story seemed to be still continuing only in her mind?
He seemed to live in Chicago in that continuing story in her mind.
Rainy Tokyo was heavy, and abominable.
There was Tokyo under the bottom of white smoke like deep contemplation.
“Why is ‘That man’ living in Chicago?”, she wondered.
“Probably I might be under the influence of the ‘The Cost of Chicago’, which is one of my most favorite novel. Or because I heard that Chicago was the model of the Gotham City of my favorite movie ‘Bat man’, I might be interested in Chicago so much.”, she thought.
“In the meantime, it is strange that the information of the character of the story, which I made, is always updated though the story have already ended.
Why do I do such things?
Sometimes, I strongly feel that ‘That man’ might really exist.
No, he certainly exist, though my memory is only confused.”, she told herself.
She thought about the novel “1Q84″ again, and imagined the lobby of Hotel Okura which came out to that novel.
Tokyo’s first-class hotel, which was not foreign company, was filled with Tokyo-like atmosphere.
She wondered that it was very thing, which Haruki Murakami wanted to express on that scene, that he wrote that there was Tokyo-like atmosphere in such a hotel.
Something, which were sleeping in the deepest place in Tokyo, sometimes might appear at such a hotel.
Tokyo was the city with many slopes.
People might sometimes end up with climbing mountains in the center area of Tokyo.
Sometimes, people noticed that the chill ari might be collected in the bottom of the gorge in Tokyo.
Maybe, the deepest place in Tokyo was very complicated.
There were many off-limited places there, for example the Imperial Palace.
There were few people knowing what was happening there.
Then, the number of the user accounts appearing at the SNS’s timeline was getting to increase.
She might follow several hundred user accounts.
However, she had never been able to taste a feeling of getting into the groove.

“Is the number of following not enough?”, she thought.
She left the PC to get ready for the dinner.
Her baby was still sleeping on the 19th floor in Tokyo city.

It was the memory of the peaceful time before that great disaster happened.

 

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3 Responses to Farewell Part7

  1. Pingback: 小説「Ferewell」目次ページ(日本語&英語バージョン) | Blog novel

  2. Pingback: Index of the novel “Farewell” written in English. | Blog novel

  3. Pingback: “Farewell” written in English.  | 4:AM MAGAGINE

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