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Farewell Part4

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June 7th 2014  |  3  |  Category: Drama , Fiction , Other , Romantic Love , Suspense  |  Author:  |  1535 views

Akihiko made his smartphone connect to the internet in the moving taxi.
He successively checked two or three places where ”That woman” often wrote something on the internet.
There was no update which she had uploaded.
“What is she doing now?”
He noticed himself who was almost angry that there was no update on any her websites or on SNS.
He felt a terrible sense of guilt as usual, and he felt like that he would go mad.
He put his smartphone back in his pocket.
It was about 6 hours ago that he had checked through of them at previous time, and it was just before that he had left his office to go to drink with Mitsuru.
He checked whether “That woman” had uploaded something new on the internet or not as soon as he said good-bye to Mitsuru.
Which was almost hateful for him.
No, he had continued such a life since long time ago, when he noticed.
Rather the frequency or the time that he read the things, which “That woman” wrote down, increased after having been separated from her physically.
If it was SNS, he did not leave something like footprint when he accessed it. Which made him access them more easily.
He thought, “Has she imagined that I might frequently access her post, which she wrote on the internet, since long time ago when we were separated?”
No, Akihiko felt like that he actually knew.
“ ‘That woman’ was writing something because she knew that I read them.
No, she was writing in order to only let me read them.
You might wonder whether I could know such a thing or not, and you might wonder whether she wrote such a hint for me or not.
Of course, there is no evidence. But I can understand.”

Akihiko remembered that when Akihiko explained so to Takanobu, who was Akihiko’s friend, he was disgusted very much.
“Are you sure? It was you who dumped her, wasn’t it? Nevertheless do you think that she is still writing something for you on the internet now? How arrogant you are!”
“Yes, I surely dumped her. But it is not a thing to be able to explain exactly.
Akihiko recognized that Takanobu was disgusted more and more.
However, Akihiko seemed to agree very well with Takanobu.
Akihiko knew that Takanobu, who was his classmate of the Junior and Senior High School, had found a job in the same company.
Akihiko came to this city for his new post this year, and originally Takanobu had been working in the office of this town.
So they met again after a long absence.
Their work content was totally different.
Still, they became good friends exceeding a range of only old friendship of the classmate at this Shanghai city.
Mitsuru belonged to the section to which Takanobu belonged.
Originally there were not so many Japanese staffs in the company.
So this three persons ended up hanging out together when they had free time.
Mitsuru had begun to have a feeling for Akihiko beyond the mere goodwill.
And Akihiko should have been the same, too.
Akihiko looked at the outside of the window in the taxi incidentally because he noticed that the view became bright.
The taxi seemed to appear on the riverside road where he could see the opened view.
The poison-like neon coloring the night of this town spread on the opposite bank of the river.
Nowadays, this town, where had been called ‘the devil capital’ once, became quite a clean city.
Dubious opium den or brothel were already exposed perfectly.
It had obtained the title called ‘The safest city in the world’ by power of money forcibly.
Still the blood of the ‘devil capital’ was not a thing which was able to be washed away so easy, Akihiko felt.

He felt like that especially at this time, somebody haunting this city were laughing weirdly with their eyes shining glitteringly all over this city.
He read the novel writing that the word which was located in a dictionary next to “Shanghai” was “Shangri-La”.

And it was “That woman” who told me about that novel on the internet.
When Akihiko started for his new post in Shanghai, “That woman” uploaded an article about that novel on her blog.
Akihiko bought the novel of an electronic book as soon as he read her article.
It was a love affair novel whose stage was Shanghai.
He had written that he was living in Shanghai in his profile of major SNS which many people were using worldwide.
Not only “That woman”, but also everyone often searched their friend’s name on the internet in present epoch.
When a certain old friend would come to somebody’s mind, they would usually search his/her name on the internet.
We were usually able to discover the name on some SNS now.
Therefore we were able to know where our old friends were living immediately, because they usually wrote their address on their forms of self-introduction on SNS.
The taxi passed through the side of the big park such as the dark forest, and came into the area where the elegant apartments, in which Akihiko was living, stood in a row.
“Excuse me, are you a Japanese?”
The taxi driver asked Akihiko in fluent Japanese.
Because Akihiko had talked in Japanese with Mitsuru until a while ago, he felt it was natural that the driver spoke in Japanese, but he noticed that here was Shanghai.
”Yes, I am”
Akihiko answered.
“I’m sorry, I am also a Japanese. So, whenever Japanese customer would take my taxi, I come to want to talk with them.”
The driver said so as if he was deeply ashamed.
“I understand it”, Akihiko said.
“But there are not many rich Japanese people using the taxi anymore, nowadays.
The most of Japanese people, who had emigrated to here, are barely enough to eat it.
Therefore, Japanese man like you is rare now.” The driver did not seem to say irony.
The driver watched Akihiko as if he was watching a dazzling thing.
Surely, Akihiko was wearing a considerably good suit.
Besides, the atmosphere of his suit had nostalgia for the good old days.
And it was also the suit which the gentleman of the countries that had governed this city as a colony once was willing to wear at the epoch when this city was called “The devil capital.”
“I am not a rich person particularly”
When Akihiko was about to say so, he noticed that it was just an excuse. So he had remained silent.
The taxi stopped, and Akihiko paid a fare.
The driver watched Akihiko again under the light at the entrance of the apartment.
“After all we can recognize the people who are Japanese when we look at them.
All Asian people have the same faces, but we can distinguish Japanese from them. It is mysterious for me, I think.
But we might not be able to know the difference in the future.” the driver said.
Then the taxi had gone away.
Akihiko looked up at the sky at the place such as a beautiful Western-style residential area.
“What time is it now? Where am I now? And…, Who am I?”
Akihiko controlled himself to want to begin to shout, and intended to go back to his room in order to sleep deeply.
※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※


Akihiko had a dream at that night.
When he woke up, the curtain of the window at his bedroom was floating lightly by wind.
He seemed to forget to close the window before he had gone to bed.
The moon seemed to be bright, and the moon light leaked from the gap of the curtain frequently.
He understood that it was still the time far from the early morning by the atmosphere.
What did I dream?
He remembered the image of Mitsuru’s white throat as if it was the flashback.
“Well, I was with her a while ago tonight. I feel her voice near as if it would cling to my eardrum. I had been with her all the time since last evening to the middle of the night. Furthermore, might I be with her in my dream? Would my desire, which I want to be with her for a long time, be actualized in my dream? Would I be going to hold her in my arm, and going to kiss her white throat in my dream?
Yes it is what’s called healthy, natural love and sexual desire.
Mitsuru is supremely lovely. I would be in love with her? I would share every day with her? Of course, I would be with her on this bed? I would be always with her?
And I am going to propose to her? I would make a vow to her wearing white dress at a church? And I might have a right to do it. I had studied hard, and I am going to be successful on my job. Finally when I had gotten the time to be able to live in one place while feeling relaxed, one beautiful woman, who could speak Japanese without inconvenience, appeared in front of me. Besides, she might have love feelings toward me.
No, I was as good as told that she loved me by her today. I should answer to her?”
When he was sitting at the table near the creek with Mitsuru while feeling the wind, he made an excuse for himself all the time, “I do not hesitate about answering to her.”
The pieces of the dream came back to him little by little.
The dusky night rode down the sky, the lights were lit along the stone pavement.
When he approached them, he found that they were the Japanese lanterns made of Japanese papers. They were written with “hotel”.
Akihiko said to himself, “They were hotels.” and noticed suddenly.
Mitsuru told him that she often had dreams about a certain hot-spring resort recently.
In addition, it was a series of similar dreams which she dreamed so that the next one was a continuation of the previous one.
Akihiko thought, “Would even I be lost in that dream?” and tried to imagine Mitsuru wearing an informal cotton kimono of the hot-spring resort.
She was lovely, he felt again.
“She is beautiful too decent. She has common sense and is a perfect, clever, radiant young lady. Everyone recognized that I was a good match for her marriage partner. At least Takanobu completely recognized me.”
Akihiko had met Mitsuru’s parents with his co-workers, and her parents seemed to have a good feeling toward especially him.
Then Akihiko picked up his smartphone from the bedside table in order to check time.
After having checked time, he opened up a browser to read something on the internet as if it was a custom.
He checked some places, where “That woman” seemed to write something, while making an excuse that he did it unconsciously.
There was not yet any new uploads on her website or SNS.
He wondered if there had ever been such a long time absence that she had not uploaded anything.
It was the previous evening that her update was found.
About 12 hours had passed after she posted 3 or 4 articles on the SNS which had a system that user would write within 140 characters per 1 time.
Is it only half day?
But “That woman” always used to write something on the internet without emptying with the only half day.
He felt like that he, who read every article of her, was nothing less than a person who always communicated with her.
He tried to think about Mitsuru.
He imagined the promising prospects which he would do proper marriage with a proper lady.
He decided to think about the honeymoon, and he said to himself, “I would like to go to somewhere in Europe. I would like to stay at a high-quality hotel, and spend peacefully there without moving too much. It is good that I would go to the place having a beautiful scenery and the delicious foods.”
Akihiko was unable to sleep, so he got up from his bed.
And he went out of the bedroom and turned on a light of the living room.
How about inviting Mitsuru to a date, he thought. However, he could never put it into practice.
“Write an email to her right now! Check the plan of the date on the internet!”
He gave himself an order to start it, but he was not able to obey it.
Though he was in the time connecting the morning, he noticed that he wanted to drink liquor, and was disgusted with such himself.
He cut off the temptation of the alcohol and served a cup of dark espresso for himself in the kitchen.
After all he started the PC in the living room, and started wandering in the internet world again.
He sat down on a big sofa alone, and put the mug cup on the cocktail table, and looked into the display of the PC.
He did not bring himself to turn on the light of the room brightly.
Only the light of the monitor of PC dyed the room in a color such as the deep ocean.
He had already acquired his own account of the SNS having the system which user would write something within 140 characters per 1 time, and he was connected to some friends, who were his school fellow of the time when he was in Japan, on that SNS.
Nowadays, he hardly wrote something on the internet anymore.
Still he enjoyed reading something, which his friends had written on the internet, almost every day.
There were old friends who were in Japan, there were old friends who lived abroad like him. They also spent weekend’s night. There was a post saying, “I am drinking beer now.” which was uploaded with the photograph.
One big beer mug and some dishes of the bar appeared in that photograph.
Akihiko looked at his friend’s hand grasping the beer mug.
He felt nostalgia and said to himself, “He had such a gnarled fingers.”
On the other hand, one old friend wrote that he left his children in his parent’s care and he dated with his wife after a long absence.
Akihiko remembered the time when he went back to his own country for the wedding ceremony of this old friend.
His wife was a beautiful woman.
All his ex-classmates were on the elite career track.
It might be possible to make the illustrated book of the beautiful woman by their wife and girlfriends, he felt.
“If I would marry Mitsuru, she would be by no means inferior to those women. No, she would become the beautiful woman who shines most in them.”
Akihiko thought about marriage problem with Mitsuru again. He was dying to introduce Mitsuru to his all friends.
On the contrary, he did not want to let his friends know about the relation with “That woman”. He had confided it to Takanobu carelessly, but he sometimes regretted it. Akihiko did not follow to the account of “That woman” in that SNS. In addition, he was afraid that “That woman” would discover him on the internet world someday. So he blocked the account of “That woman” in advance.

 

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3 Responses to Farewell Part4

  1. Pingback: 小説「Ferewell」目次ページ(日本語&英語バージョン) | Blog novel

  2. Pingback: Index of the novel “Farewell” written in English. | Blog novel

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