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Farewell 15

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March 30th 2015  |  2  |  Category: Drama , Fiction , Romantic Love  |  Author:  |  920 views

I heard a soft sound continuing as if touching the key board of the PC gently.
It was the sound creating a composition without an interval.

Although a high sound, which she hit the key of ENTER or SPACE, sometimes interrupted as an accent, the soft sound like a gentle shower of rain continued.

It was like a music.

“I like this sound so much. It’s comfortable for me.” Akihiko thought.
That story was created as if a drizzling rain continued.
I was lying, holding a cushion in my arms.
When I woke up, I found myself napping, and I was covered in a blanket.
I noticed that the covers of the cushion made from the cloth of various colors had increased in my room, various kinds of cloths had been hung onto the sofa, and all the curtains in my apartment were completely changed for the different things by her.
Because I was not particular about them, it was not trouble for me that various things in my apartment were changed in such her manner.
But, when she left here after having stayed for a while, those various things made me feel unquiet.
When I was in my room alone, I wondered why I was living in such a room covered with various cloths.
I started living in the room covered with many colors which must not be my taste, feeling uneasy.
At last, I could not put up with them, and removed them one by one in order to restore my room to its original state.
The next time when she would come here, though my room had been restored, she seemed not to be disappointed.
Still she would start to make the room decorated with various colors again.
This time, at last she bought a lot of satin cloth of lavender color, and pinned up that cloth on the whole wall of my room.
I was also surprised that the room was completely changed by only cloth as if it was painted.
Except for buying a lot of cloths for changing the room, she didn’t spend money so much, and spent her most of time for writing something like that.
I heard that she had continued working after having graduated the university about 10 years ago.
But recently she seemed to live at her parent’s house, doing nothing.
When I asked her what she had done ever, she usually evaded it.
Still, I gradually understood that she had worked very hard without holiday once, judging from the pieces of her talking.
And I ended up knowing that she’d dropped out of working, and wanted to take a rest now.
However, I didn’t have any clues about whether she had been an able business woman or not, and I could not imagine how she lived in Japan, too.
Because I got to know her at the time when she did nothing, and I became a person meeting, and contacting her frequently most now.
That was why she could come to here like the opposite side of the earth, and stay here for a while, because she was doing nothing now.
Then, I noticed that it was raining outside.
Rain such as fine fog wriggled like a creature in the yellow of the street light.
I came back to home from the office, and had a nap.
Although I intended to have supper after the nap, I slept too for a long time.
She seemed to still continue typing the key board of the PC.
I continued listening to the sound of it, too.
Mitsuru could no longer read it. So she shut the laptop.

She was reading the blog of “That woman”, and considered this first person “I” in this blog must be Akihiko’s.

“That woman” wrote it, getting right into Akihiko’s role.

In that blog, which there were many literary fragments written in various ways, a man modelled after Akihiko was written in various ways, too.
“This composition is one of such posts in her blog, and it was written about the time ‘That woman’ sometimes visited him in those days.” Mitsuru understood.
She memorized the user account of “That woman” at the SNS having the greatest number of the users in the world, when she saw it on Akihiko’s laptop at his apartment.
After that, she searched and found That woman’s account on the internet.
“That woman” showed her blog and other SNS on her profile page, and Mitsuru eagerly read them recently.

“Oh my god. I ended up becoming a sort of person like Akihiko. Because I am reading like Akihiko did. How crazy I am!”

She said disgustedly, but could not stop reading them.
At first, she realized that because she was interested in the relationship between “That woman” and Akihiko so much, she couldn’t stop reading them.
But, she gradually noticed that she was interested in what “That woman” had written.
“That woman” seemed to have won a literature prize, and have worked as an editor or a journalist once. She was the same as a professional writer, so it was natural that what she had written was so smart.
But now, Mitsuru thought that it was impossible to know where the interest for Akihiko ended and her own pure interest for “That woman” began.
In any case, recently Mitsuru was earnestly reading anything and everything which “That woman” had written on the internet before she noticed.
There were a great amount of the compositions she had written on the internet.
The contents of some SNS and some blogs, which “That woman” wrote for approximately 20 years, had been stored in this Web space.
No matter how many times Mitsuru read them, she found there were still many compositions in That woman’s blog.
Naturally, Mitsuru was interested in the relationship between “That woman” and Akihiko the most.
So Mitsuru searched what “That woman” wrote just after Akihiko and “That woman” had gotten to know each other.
In those days, at first they were the readers of their blogs each other, and they started communing together.
There was no longer Akihiko’s blog, so Mitsuru could know their relationship by only reading the back issues of That woman’s blog.
Besides, Akihiko seemed to have already deleted every comment by himself on her blog on purpose.
It was only the way for Mitsuru to read the comments, which “That woman” had written as reply to him, and Mitsuru imagined their relationship by it.
But Akihiko had deleted all evidences showing that he had kept company with “That woman” once too completely, Mitsuru suspected there was a possibility “That woman” would make up these Akihiko’s comments.
In other words, she had just played her role as if she talked with somebody, though in fact nobody had written any comments to her on her blog.
She replied to the account of Akihiko, but originally there had not been any comments there from Akihiko truly.
There was a possibility that “That woman” had communicated with somebody in only her imagination, Mitsuru thought.
Still, Mitsuru felt that Akihiko must have had relations with “That woman” actually.
Or there was another possibility, Mitsuru hit upon.: Although “That woman” had written on her blog that she actually met him, which was her fantasy. The relationship of them was to talk each other only on the internet, and they never met in the reality.
Because Akihiko lived abroad at that time, was it possible for “That woman” to visit him so frequently? Mitsuru felt.
In those days, Akihiko went back to Japan more frequently than now.
Even if every returning to Japan wasn’t for meeting her, he actually met her whenever going back to Japan. At least she wrote so.
He seemed to not be busy very much in those days, and went back to Japan 2 times in 3 months tops.
“For her?” Mitsuru thought, and was jealous, feeling a pain in her chest.
Mitsuru felt, if somebody would become a target to be written, he could not but read what he was written.
She gradually understood that not only Akihiko but also everyone must be worried about it.
It was not clear whether the relationship between “That woman” and Akihiko would really exist, or exist at only virtual world.
Still, “That woman” had written such a many compositions on the internet, so he must have been worried about it.


During such a long time when she wrote something on the internet, she didn’t wrote anything about other men. She had written about only Akihiko.
According to her blog, “That woman” got married with another man after having parted from Akihiko, but she hadn’t written about even her husband in detail on her blog at all.
In addition, there seemed to be a novel written about the relationship between Akihiko and her, and she submitted it to a literature prize. The novel was selected for the competition’s final phase, and won the first prize at the popularity vote by the general readers.
That novel seemed to be a long story, but it was stopped publishing.
The blog, on which there were the long story, still existed, but only the serialization of that long story was not published recently.
Still, Mitsuru made an effort to read it, and got involved in the following way: She searched the old caches remaining in the Web space.
She wanted to read even every little piece of it.
Unexpectedly, Akihiko’s explanation “Because she was so eccentric, I was sometimes curious about her.” might be his true mind, Mitsuru felt.
If somebody would write something in such a way like “That woman” did, every people must have been curious about it.
She seemed to write it while interlacing the dramatization with the true facts here and there, and make an effort to make it interesting as a novel in order to get more readers.
Mitsuru wondered whether the purpose of writing for her was to make Akihiko read it, or to get many readers.
Anyway, it would be certain that Akihiko, who was the very man written by her, must have wanted to read it, Mitsuru felt.
And Mitsuru felt that continuing to write like this must have needed a strong passion.
In addition, she couldn’t help having an impression that “That woman” was slightly eccentric.
“What kind of person is ‘That woman’?” Mitsuru thought.
After having devoted herself to what “That woman” wrote, Mitsuru was apt to avoid Akihiko because she felt guilty for reading it in secret.
Mitsuru felt that there would be some secrets hidden in those many compositions “That woman” had written.
So, she would like to put her feeling to Akihiko off till it would be proved.
On that day, Mitsuru was about to leave the office hurriedly at a set time in order to read them.
“What happened? You seem to get off work in hurry in these days.”
When Mitsuru was preparing to get off work, Takanobu came to her.
He seemed to want to search her mind, and said so.
Because the air-conditioning was too strong, the office was cold. So Mitsuru wore the jacket in the office, but now she was about to take it off to go out.
“I’m slightly tired recently.
I’ve been under the weather for a few days.
So, I go back to home early and relax.”
Mitsuru didn’t like a tedious diplomacy.
It was the custom that she anticipated what a person, with whom to speak, wanted to say, and answered.
Mitsuru told a lie to Takanobu calmly in order to conceal what she did.
However, because this lie was too silly, she didn’t feel that it was a crime.
The true crime might have been to watch Akihiko’s PC without his permission at his apartment, and to read the articles “That woman” had written on the Web space.
“Still, was it something which should be accused as a crime concretely?”
Mitsuru didn’t intend to take a “so-what” attitude, and thought.
“Really? Have you had a doctor?”
Takanobu said to her.
Mitsuru felt that he was worried about her from the bottom of his heart as a precious friend at the country where there were little fellows having the same roots.
“Thank you. Please don’t worry. I am just too tired, I think. I sometimes go to the clinic
for acupuncture and moxibustion.
The counselor of it advised me to refrain from both the alcohol and eating out for a while.”
Mitsuru said, and it was not a lie.
The other day, she really went to the clinic near her apartment.
One Chinese woman, who had studied at New York, came back to Shanghai, and managed it.
She made the clinic modern, combining acupuncture with hand massage of the oil, and adopting aromatherapy .
Indeed, it seemed to be the place that the women of nowadays liked, and be also the place that Akihiko would make a fool out of, because he thought it was lowbrows.
Mitsuru went to the clinic, ate the simple meal having an effect for good health, did yoga, and got massage.
“Ah, I see.”
Takanobu said.
But it was not only this he wanted to know, Mitsuru felt.
She guessed that Takanobu would like to know why she kept away from Akihiko recently.
Probably, Akihiko talked about it to Takanobu, Mitsuru thought.
If it would be true, she would be pleased, and started to miss Akihiko.
But, she was going to devote herself to inspect the things remaining on the internet in order to make herself get out of this situation that though she was about to know something, she didn’t know it.
Inspecting?

Yes, she was going to check as many the compositions “That woman” had written as possible.
Akihiko had a user account of the SNS having the most number of the users in the world.
But it seemed to be a mere formality, she felt.
He seldom posted any articles on the SNS.
Akihiko, whom Mitsuru had ever known, used this SNS for only seeing other friend’s articles.
So, she had realized until very recently that Akihiko had been using the internet in such a way.
Takanobu was the same.
He also checked friend’s articles everyday, but never posted any articles.
Mitsuru thought most of men didn’t write their diary or something on the internet at all or so frequently.
Many her female friends took the photograph when they ate out or went to shopping. For example, the photo of the meal, or what they bought.
They often uploaded them on the SNS as if they extended their usual chattering to the Web space.
But, most of men didn’t do it very much, Mitsuru thought.
According to what “That woman” wrote, Akihiko was writing something on his blog earnestly once.
“What did Akihiko write?” Mitsuru wondered.
It was regrettable for Mitsuru not to have known such a fact.
Because “That woman” seemed to talk with Akihiko when he often wrote something on the internet, she was envious of “That woman”.
All what Akihiko had written including even the comments of the blog were deleted, so it was all the more regrettable for Mitsuru.
On the other hand, according to what “That woman” had written, she seemed to be envious of somebody being with him now.
“That woman” didn’t know who “somebody” was.
She seemed not to know Akihiko’s present situation completely.
Whichever “somebody” being with him might be his girlfriend, or his wife, “That woman” seemed to be envious of “somebody”.
“That woman” seemed not to know even whether Akihiko had gotten married or not.
Akihiko did not open to the public his own personal information on the SNS at all now.
He selected the setting which enabled only his friends to read his information.
“That woman” wasn’t connected with him as a friend on the SNS, so if “That woman” would not contact with him directly, she couldn’t know it at all.
But Mitsuru could not but have an illusion that “That woman” was still getting in touch with Akihiko now.
“What’s going on?” Mitsuru wondered.
She was going to visit the clinic also today, get massage, and take supper invented for health there.
The clinic enabled the patients to stay at the lounge of it.
Mitsuru intended to spend the time, reading what “That woman” had written, at this lounge after having gotten massage.
When she was at her own room of the apartment, she could not read it very well because she was worried about her real life too much.
Recently, Mitsuru carried her laptop, and read it on the internet at the place other than her apartment.
When she visited there last time, it was so comfortable, so she made a reservation this evening, too.

 

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2 Responses to Farewell 15

  1. Pingback: 小説「Ferewell」目次ページ(日本語&英語バージョン) | 雨や霧や雪/降こめられる日々

  2. Pingback: “Farewell” written in English.  | 4:AM MAGAGINE

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